Picture this. Me, sitting on a train from Barcelona to Logrono, next to my teammate Josh who’s focused on his writing, when an outpouring consumes me. The first outpouring is messy, drawing attention, and mascara stained. It’s the tears falling loudly from my eyes. The second outpouring is clear, precise, and comforting. It’s grace filled, light, and falling freshly upon me. It’s the Holy Spirit breaking barriers around my heart and cleansing my soul. It’s my favorite moment thus far from my time in Spain.
To understand better, let us start with the back story.
The day before I embarked on this radical journey, I was frantically searching for a daypack to fit my big study Bible. It was that or find a new, smaller Bible. But, I love this Bible. It has two different study points in it and has so many notes from what God has taught me over these last 9 months with specific verses and pages tattered from my then trials. God completely helped me find my daypack at Eddie Bauer for an extremely affordable price but the thought of getting a new smaller Bible kept sneaking into my thoughts. With everything else I needed to do that day I took my new daypack home and packed it full, ready to leave the next morning.
Now, skip a few days forward and picture this. Me, learning, exploring, and living life with my team, yet having no desire to pick up my Bible and read. I crave the leadership lessons, Ravi Zachariah’s podcast sermons, the presence of the Spirit, and worship music but not the Word. Looking at my Bible, it just felt so unappealing to me.
Now, it’s the morning we are traveling to the Camino. I’m packing my pack and I look over to see the most appealing thing I have yet to see, A new Bible that’s not mine. My teammate and dear friend Emily is about to leave it and I ask, “Why?”
“Because I was given 2 extra to give away.”
“Oh okay, well are you wanting to leave it here or give it to someone?”
“Give it to someone.”
She then proceeds to go ahead and pack it back up. Later that morning at the train station God reminded me of feeling the need to get a new Bible. I told Emily about the feeling and asked if I decided to take it if I could pay her for it. She sweetly said she would just give it to me and she would hold onto it until I decided.
As I was riding on the train I began to prayerfully beg God to allow me to know Him in a deeper way, to understand fully when His Holy Spirit is surrounding me with a physical sign. I asked Him to proceed to show me a sign (in my mind something along the lines of tingling fingers or hands) but I felt nothing. We switched trains and as I was riding along, watching the vast terrain of Spain speed by, Father spoke so clearly to my heart, “I make all things new. Leave your Bible, leave your past of comfortable misery, and take hold of what I have new for you. I have cleansed you and forgiven you, I am ready to show you new things and teach you new lessons in a new season.”
Now, go back to the initial picture. The Holy Spirit was pouring into me and I am filled with tears fully understanding that my physical sign of being in His presence is becoming consumed with tears of joy, peace and gratitude.
My old Bible was left in a monastery residing in Logrono, Spain, along with my previous season of life, with a blessing prayed over it that whoever comes into contact with it will be shown the same love and find the same comfort as I did. I, on the other hand, am pilgrimaging the Camino De Santiago allowing God to purify my soul and seeking the new enlightenments He has for me.
We serve a good Father, one who wants to comfort us in our sufferings but never wants us to remain in a place of comfortable misery. Instead, He desires for us to take a step of faith and move into a season of new creation, new adventures, new lessons, and new blessings. Take that step, the one you feel pulled towards, leave your comfort, and trust that He has great gifts in store for you.
By His Grace & For His Glory,
Bethany
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth passed away, and the sea no longer existed. I also saw the Holy City, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared like a bride adorned for her husband. Then I heard a loud voice from the throne:
“Look! God’s dwelling is with humanity, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will no longer exist; grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away.
Then the One seated on the throne said, ‘Look! I am making all things new. Write this down because these words are faithful and true.'”- Revelation 21:1-5
