Everybody loves a good thrill ride, right?
You get strapped in…
You wait, with apprehension, for every one else to get set to go..
Then most coasters start slow…
They bring you up the steep hill, building the anticipation…
Then it drops you off really fast…
You’re plunging toward the earth at an abnormal speed…
It yanks you through more hills, twists, turns, and sometimes even upside down..
It’s completely wild and unpredictable, if its a good roller coaster…
You, as the thrill seeker, want it too be…
That’s why you got on the ride in the first place…
But then you get off…
Life is kind of like a roller coaster…minus the part where you can get off after an average of 2-3 minutes. You can’t just exit the ride when you’re done. You have to keep riding. Now there are parts that are amazing. Just like the tops of the hills. Where you’re just about to drop. Then of course there are the lows like the bottom of the hill where you still feel like your stomach is at the top of the hill.
Getting ready for the race is also like a roller coaster…A roller coaster of emotions.
You sign up with apprehension just like waiting for the ride to start. Then you’re accepted. So you get on the ride. You’re now strapped in. You get log into your account to see if anything has been donated and it has. Aunt LaLa has donated a whole twenty toward your cause. You’re super excited!! You now have your first donation. Over the course of the next few weeks you see more donations. Little Timmy from down the block has given up his allowance this week in your honor. That’s another $10!!! Great Aunt Ethel has given you $50!!! The Jones’ down the street a $100. You’re on top of the hill!!! Heck you’re on top of the world. Jesus just keeps sending in checks. He’s amazing! You’re so excited! You talk with you squad mates how Jesus is so amazing. They all echo back. Cindy Lou Who from down the road gave me $500. “She didn’t even like me in high school,” says Jane Squad mate.
Then it happens….the inevitable. The checks stop rolling in as fast as they did. Your fundraisers don’t quite work out. Your friends that were supportive a month ago are simply tired of seeing post after post about the race on Facebook. They’re tired of hearing about how great your squad mates are. How you can’t wait to have an awesome amazing time away from home. To learn. To grow. To meet new people. To explore new places. To try new things. To do new things. To see amazing miracles. To witness a radical awakening in yourself in others. They get tired of hearing about how great it’s going to be and they’re really tired of the camping gear talk. They really aren’t concerned with which tent you go with. You feel like they don’t get it. You hit that low. You’re at the bottom of the hill. Again.
OK so someone forgot to mention in the brochure how emotional this process was going to be. Like really left out a whole big, fat chunk. I’m a girl. I get emotions from time to time. But seriously? Sometimes I feel like I’m one chocolate bar away from having a melt down. Then the next day I’m completely over the first world problems and I’m back on the hill. Most of the time this crazy “race emotions” as I have dubbed them are keep completely under wraps. You wouldn’t want any one to think you’re unstable. Just saying.
I’m also reminded how much that Lucifer himself doesn’t want me going. He wants me to fight with my friends. He wants me to feel unneeded. He wants me to feel like this isn’t for me. He wants me to quit. He wants me to get off the roller coaster. He wants me off the ride. His whole MO is to steal, kill, and destroy by any means necessary. See he still doesn’t comprehend that he lost. He’s still plugging away with the same old tricks up his sleeve. He really should get some new material. Sometimes I feel like I’m so far down his list that I’m on repeat for the night. Like a CD skipping its track. Like it’s scratched. I’m like seriously that’s all ya got? But then sometimes I’m blindsided. Same material. Just wasn’t paying attention. Sneaky little devil.
I’ve been told that the ride before hand doesn’t compare the emotional ride you get on while you’re on the race. I don’t know. I haven’t left. I’m sure I’ll have an opinion of which is more emotional. But I know one thing. No matter what I’m not getting off the ride. It’s a crazy, wild, emotional ride. It has its good days. It has its bad days. It has its in between days. It has some horrible, no good, very bad days.
But just like life I feel like I can’t just quit in 2-3 minutes of bad days. I can’t just step off and say you know what? I don’t think I can sleep on an overpriced inflatable pool raft. In nothing but a tent separating me from what? I’m not really sure. Blood sucking mosquitoes, spiders as big as my hand, scorpions, or bugs I’ve never heard of? Please Lord don’t let me get eaten by something and Lord please don’t make me eat that snake that just crawled by. ahhhhhh.
I can’t just say nope this isn’t me. Even when you talk to someone about how maybe you should be micro chipped. Geo tagged. Traceable. How you should be able to be found should you get kidnapped in a Jungle somewhere. Lord, please just don’t let me get kidnapped. The sentiment is nice but I’m hoping to be off the grid just a bit. Disconnect from modern society. Not always traceable.
I can’t get off the roller coaster because:
Isaiah 6:8-11
8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” 9 He said, “Go, and tell this people: ‘Keep on listening, but do not perceive; Keep on looking, but do not understand.’ 10 “Render the hearts of this people insensitive, Their ears dull, And their eyes dim, Otherwise they might see with their eyes, Hear with their ears, Understand with their hearts, And return and be healed.”11 Then I said, “Lord, how long?” And He answered, “Until cities are devastated and without inhabitant, Houses are without people And the land is utterly desolate,…
I said yes. I committed. I committed to something. I’m going to stick with it. I said yes to the these people that I’ve never met. In cities I’ve never seen. No matter what. So It might not have been in the brochure that it was going to be a crazy, emotional ride. But that’s the most exciting part, right?
