So, I have a secret (ok, it’s not a dirty little secret–but I got you attention, right?)…
Have you ever watched the show The Apprentice with Donald Trump? You have probably at least heard the famous line… “You’re fired!” I haven’t actually ever watched the show but it’s not hard to get the idea that this is the whole theme of the show. Work really hard, do whatever it takes to be on top, and outperform your coworkers so that you’re safe and not hearing the dreaded words.. “You’re fired!”
Perform. Maintain. Strive. Win.
Something that has always been told to me as a kid and all throughout school is that if I would just apply myself, I could do really well…if I just cared and tried a little bit harder, I would get straight A’s. Not to mention that this was my older sister forte and I would never be able to outperform her.
No wonder I’ve struggled with so much comparison and performance in every area of my life. In relationships, in my job, in life I hear that little reminder–if I just applied myself, tried harder, outperformed all those around me, I would win. I would be the best. I would be enough.
Here’s my secret…
I can’t. I will never measure up. I won’t be the best. I won’t be first.
Once I come to terms with that…I can breathe. Once I have the courage to push off that heavy burden that tries to keep me defeated and drained, I realize that I never wanted that. I never wanted to live by man’s affirmations and approval of me. I never wanted to run a race that only leaves me exhausted and empty.
all I know is there has to be more
