Fundraising has never been easy for me…I loathe asking people for money and I’ve been challenged to really dig deeper and ask God why it makes me so uncomfortable. The reality is drenched in my own humanness and feeble attempts to be self sufficient. It hurts to say it…sometimes, I have a difficult time trusting God.
It’s odd because getting to the point of apply for the World Race was a huge trust experience with God. I knew that it meant giving up a year of my life and that the money needed was staggering. What can I say? When God says go, saying no isn’t an option for me. Yet here I am, trying to figure out how to raise all that dough…worrying, working an extra job, sacrificing sleep, destroying my kitchen making apple butter, hoping that somehow the astronomical goal of $17,361 will be reached in time.
I find myself feeling like Paul, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15, NIV)
I desperately want to trust that God will provide everything I need for what He’s called me to, yet I worry, compare myself to others, and insist doing it all on my own.
This is where I am. Deep down I know God provides. I guess that I need to get over my pride. When I truly look at where I am, it isn’t bad. God is moving, but I get caught up in the big picture and loose sight of the small victories.
So, even though I freak out at least once a week, I want to share some good things that God has been doing…because I don’t have it all together & even when I try to do it on my own or when I compare my journey to others or flat out doubt that this is where God called me…He still is faithful. Sometimes it takes me a while to see God’s faithfulness.
1) A while back I told a coworker about this ministry & he legit flipped his lid. The next day he came in and gave me a hundred dollar bill…I almost didn’t believe that it was real.
2) I am currently selling apple butter bonus books for Central PA, they both are going well, and are good starter events. Hopefully I’ll get the hang of this…I much prefer asking people to buy something and have profits go toward the World Race than flat out asking for money.
3) My church is so freaking generous. Our Missions team leader came up to me yesterday to give me a check in support of the World Race. She literally said that it was probably a drop in a bucket compared to what I need to raise (it was so much more than a drop!).
4) Several generous people in my life have donated money and I can’t even begin to thank them enough. It astounds me that people believe in little ol’ me. Contrary to what my parents may say, I’m not that special…but I am so thankful that those who have donated have faith that Christ will work through my brokenness to help reach a broken world.
A closing request: please keep this ongoing issue in your prayers. A big part of this journey is having your only security be in Christ…for me, who wants to take charge & get everything done quick & efficiently, it can be a problem. Pray that I rely on Christ, come what may.
