It's nearing the end of month 7 and in a matter of days we'll be onto month 8.
I've been wearing the same 3 sweaters and pair of jeans for 7 months now.
I have 5 pairs of underwear….. yeah…..
No matter how much I take a shower I never truly feel clean.
I feel like I always smell.
I don't feel attractive anymore.
I'm still living out of a backpack, and carrying everything I own across country lines.
I'm still living off of 4 dollars a day. I'm hungry a lot… but don't have the money to get more food.
I've slept on the ground on a sleeping pad for 6 of the 7 months we've had.
Life at home continues to move on. People lose interest in the life that has become so normal to me.
My blog views and comments of encouragement are cut in half.
I've been living with the same 5 people for 7 months now. We are around each other 24/7. We're all very different.
We've been doing relational ministry for 7 months now. Meeting people, smiling, praying for them, encouraging them…. you know, pouring out our love cup that sometimes doesn't feel like it has enough love in it.
I'm over stimulated.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. After all, I chose this life. I chose this life of abandonment. Maybe I didn't realize how hard it would be, but I'd be a fool to not use this opportunity to draw me closer to Christ.
It's easy to run from things. It would be easy for me to get on the next plane home and finally be reunited with my loved ones. Believe me…. it's tempting at times!
However, I'm here to glorify God, and If I have to remind myself every single of that then it's worth it. It's MORE than worth it. I remember before the race I was giddy knowing that I got to spend a year with my father. I didn't come to change lives, heal the sick, and help the lame walk. I came so that my daddy could get to know his daughter and I could get to know my daddy. The rest is just the icing on the cake…. seeing brothers and sisters welcomed into the Kingdom.
Today I chose to keep walking. I chose to accept that all the comfort of my normal life has been stripped away, and I chose to learn to walk again…. with ONLY the strength of The Lord.
What comforts do you need to give up so that you can have a deeper intimacy with your daddy? What areas in your life are you looking to for strength? I'll fill you in on something…. those things are only temporary. Find your comfort and your strength in your father. He's holding on tight… and he's never letting go.
