Deciding to go on a year long missions trip is not the easiest decision to make. Especially when I have always felt like I was supposed to pursue a career in music. However, after graduation, I really started contemplating what God wanted me to do next. Not only that, but contemplating what is really important in life. I came to the conclusion that the ultimate reason for me being here on earth is to change and impact peoples lives by the love of Christ.
This conclusion led me to the World Race. My first response to the world race was, "wow that looks great for someone else." I never thought that God would call me to missions. I had always planned on something else, but I think God likes to mess up our plans so that we end up relying on Him. Honestly, I really did not want to be a missionary. The idea of being stripped of the comforts of life and sacrificing my own desires did not sound fun. Of course that was my flesh side talking. I think sometimes God calls us to do things that we either do not want to do or that do not seem easy. God always has a way of stirring our hearts towards the things He wants for us. And thats exactly what He did in me. He slowly changed my heart to desire what He had for me. After I gave God all of my doubts and fears, he filled me with joy and peace about continuing this journey.
A few things that helped me make this decision were people that were already on the race…Their blogs encouraged me to take a step of faith.
One blogger said, "The things in this life that are the most worth it are often the most difficult because we have to lay down ourselves to get there and lets face sometimes we like ourselves a little too much. At least I do. But it's like Jesus said those who lose their life for His sake will find it. We got to lose it first before we can find it and the awesome promise for us to remember is that the life Jesus brings is an abundant one, a life to the full."
Satan constantly put doubts in my mind to prevent me from this journey. But with every doubt, came the word of God in response.
But,
God I am too afraid!
-"Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10
But,
I can't give up my love for music and plans for a career!
-"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it."
Luke 9:23-24
-"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Okay God but,
How will I raise $15,500?
-What about the story of the five thousand? "They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over."
-"So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them." Matthew 6:31-32
-"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19
But,
How will I give up the comforts of life?
-"In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples." Luke 14:33
-"Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” Mark 10:21
But,
I am weak, how can I do this?
-"'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
But,
My faith is too small!
-"The apostles said to the Lord, 'Increase our faith!' He replied, 'If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.'"
Luke 17:5-6
Finally, I gave up my doubts and fighting what God had for me. And God filled me with peace about this journey!
"“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:13
