I remember in high school when I would walk down the hallways and feel that people were judging me by the things I wore, my mannerisms, and the way I looked. It was hard trying to open up to people and make friends in a place that was based on superficiality. I think I responded to my environment in the total opposite way of everyone else in high school. I became accustomed to my crazy personality in almost opposition to the norm of those considered “popular”. But truly deep down, I wanted acceptance. My crazy personality was my way of coping with the situation and in a sense hiding from the judgment I felt.
I feel like most of us have struggled in some sense with judgment, acceptance, and rejection. However, It is very hard to think about how we judge, accept, and reject others. It is so much easier thinking about my own feelings rather than remembering how I affect others.
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This week has been an interesting experience at training camp in Atlanta, GA, for the World Race. It seemed almost impossible to get to know the other 42 people on my squad.
Before arriving to training camp I struggled with worrying about who God would place with me on this yearlong journey. I prayed for God to change my heart and be open for who He wanted for me. After much prayer I began to learn how to surrender my expectations of what my teammates would be like.
Yesterday we found out our team mates (the seven people that will be on our team). My first response was “uhhhhh”. Honestly I had not formed a close relationship with anyone that was put on my team. I had my own perceptions of who they each were. I was unsure as to how we would work together and get along. After having these feelings, I repeated to myself, “God I surrender my expectations of my team to you”.
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After receiving the information of who was on our team. We left the training camp grounds to go spend quality time with our team. The seven of us piled into a small Honda, each squeezing and even laying on each other to fit into the car. And we set out on a mission for a great restaurant.
As we began driving away, I felt as if each person left with an open heart and mind as to what to expect of each other. As we sat down to dinner at Chilis and shared our separate stories, my perception of each person slowly changed. Not only did my perceptions change, they blew my mind. I could not believe how wrong I had been to misjudge each person.
I kind of laughed at myself for being so stupid and realized that once I surrendered my expectations to God, He could then show me how precious each person on my team were to Him.
I have begun to learn:
When you see others as sons and daughters of Christ, then you will love them for who they truly are instead of how you perceive them.
1 Samuel 16:7b
For the Lord does not see as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
Meet my team!
Team ABIDE 15:5
John 15:5
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”
Some of the girls on my squad.
My Squad E!
Tough ladies!
This is our declaration as women of God. We know that God's definition of a woman and the world's definition of a woman are completely opposite and we plan to live by God's definition!
