The past couple of months have been trying to say the least. I felt like I was in a whirlwind and my life was spinning out of control. I used to feel invincible. For some reason I felt like the problems and sufferings of the world somehow could not touch my family, the ones I loved, or myself.
I was terribly mistaken.
As you all know, last year was crazy. I traveled to 11 different countries in 11 months. It was stretching and difficult, but it was exactly what I needed.
Month 9 on my trip, the whirlwind began. One of my close friends passed away suddenly. I remember reading Facebook and getting hit by a ton of bricks. My invincible bubble had popped. This was the first time I ever had someone close to me pass away and I was crushed. I struggled with the grief from across the world and tried finishing up my trip.
Arriving home from my trip was another whirlwind. I was finally able to deal with my grief. I also came home to Satan trying to rip apart my family. My invincible bubble was getting flattened out.
March 9th, my brother Luke got in a serious one-car collision in LA. My family found out he was missing three days later. I remember the knots in my stomach and my heart dropping. We found out he had been in an accident and had already gone through surgery to remove a part of his skull. My parents flew out immediately, leaving me in charge of the household and my 12-year-old sister for two months.
It was two months of shock, crying, praying, and believing. But God answered. Luke was taken from the point of death and was miraculously healed. Luke came home and began therapy. It has been a struggle having Luke come home and not be himself because of the accident. But he is recovering!
By now my bubble was completely chiseled away.
June 18th, my grandpa passed away suddenly from a heart attack. When I thought that I could not handle anymore, another thing happened. The grief I felt from Bethany’s death and Luke’s accident was felt as I said goodbye to my grandpa.
My invincible bubble was gone and I felt unprotected.
I did not understand. I wanted to know why. I wanted to know how God could be in control. How He could be good if He allowed all of these things to happen.
My faith was being tested. Death lurked around the corner and mocked me. I was afraid and I felt like I had no more control.
Then enters God.
God did not tell me why. He did not make everything make sense. But one thing He has been teaching me is that He is in control and He is faithful.
God is faithful – Luke could have died from his accident, but God spared his life and is miraculously healing him.
God is faithful – He provided a job for me to work in full-time ministry and through this job I was able to pay off all my student loans.
God is faithful – Bethany’s death propelled me towards Christ and taught me a new level of relying on Him.
God is faithful –
God gave me a dream month 5 on my race to start a music school in El Salvador. However, once I got home from my trip, life got in the way of that plan and I had to postpone it. While I was home, God put the same dream into Pastor Oscar’s heart. Pastor Oscar then began planning and preparing to start a music school in El Salvador.
God recently has opened the door for me to return to El Salvador. The school is ready to open on July 26th!
God didn’t need me. But He has allowed me to be a part of His dream!
https://www.facebook.com/Betaniaschoolofmusic
God is faithful – He knew the desires of my heart and has given me the opportunity to use my gifts to bring Him glory.
God is faithful – The Pastor decided to name the school after me, Betania Casa Allegre de Dios (Bethany Joy). I have done nothing to receive such an honor. But God has decided to honor and bless me with this.
God is faithful – I needed $1,500 for instruments for the school and God provided all the money on one Sunday morning!
God is faithful – My flight to El Salvador was covered because I had extra money left over in my mission’s budget!
I do not know what you are going through. Maybe your invincible bubble is still in tact, maybe it is completely gone. I know what it feels like to question God and want to know why. I know what it feels like when your friends try to help, but they just can’t understand. It’s okay to have rocky moments in your faith, because your faith is being tested. It is how you come out of those rocky moments that matters the most. If we seek God in these moments, then He can reassure us who He is in our life.
When I don’t understand, I will still choose Him. He is faithful.
