These last few months life has been throwing punches. Victor and I have been going through some difficult things…physically, mentally, and spiritually. About 2 months ago we stepped down from leadership at the church plant. We have been feeling very drained and discouraged. We were trying to build and pour into the people so much, but we lost sight of what God wanted. One day we looked at each other and realized we just didn’t have anything left to give. We were empty because we weren’t taking the time to fill up. So we prayed and made the decision to take time to rest and refocus. Right now we are in a moment of resting and re-energizing. I see God’s timing in all of this. Right after we decided to step down, several things took place in our personal lives that we needed to walk through. It would have been so much harder to walk through things had we been still leading the ministry.
God has been working on my heart. I have been praying for peace in the midst of the storm and un-kown. At first I felt guilty for taking a break…I mean I am a “missionary”. How can I take a break? Thankfully a local missionary spoke truth to me, “This is not just a trip to another country, this is your life”. I need to be healthy spiritually, mentally, and physically in order to be able to give to others. If I continue to try to give, while I am still empty, then I am not truly giving all that I can.
My time here in El Salvador has been a learning curve. I have tried to start several ministries and have learned that in this culture, commitment is lacking. It is frustrating at times, and it takes time to find what will really have a lasting impact on the people. I got to a point where I just didn’t know what God had for me here anymore. My initial calling was to come and plant a music school. The school I planted in July 2013 is still going strong. They have several teachers and students. The school visits different churches and does the special music. I am proud to see how God has grown a dream.
In this time of rest, I have been learning a lot of how to love in the physical aspect. I think it is so easy to focus on saving souls, but forget to provide physically to those that are hurting. Victor and I have been doing something that I really love…we find families in need and buy them groceries. I love this practical way of loving others. Many times this isn’t “Planned Ministry” but simply seeing a need and meeting that need. I think God is teaching us to walk with eyes open. He wants us to be able to see the needs and people hurting.
This last week my Mom and little sister Rachel came to visit. It was a well-needed vacation!
One day we decided to buy groceries and take it to an elderly couple we had heard about. We had to hike a ways up a mountain to finally reach their house. They were so sweet and welcoming. Both of them are in their 80’s and have been married 60+ years. We took the time to sit with them and pray with them. Neither of them could see very well and the wife told us that she had been struggling with her health. After our visit, Victor and I both agreed that we needed to visit them on a regular basis. I want to try and visit them twice a month. They mentioned that they needed a bed and other things for their home. I know that Victor and I might not be able to provide all of their needs, but we want to be able to help and also just be there for them.
Please continue to keep us in your prayers! We are seeking God and asking Him what He has next for us. We are also praying for God to show us the needs of those around us and how we can be an answer to prayer.
