When I initially signed up for the Race, I thought ‘Man, this is gonna be AWESOME! I’m traveling literally around the world (something I’ve ALWAYS wanted to do) and meet super cool people and love Jesus!! What could be better!?! All the things I love all bundled into one!! I was made for this.’
But the more I think about it, the more the reality (or what I think will be reality) sets in.
-
I’ll be sleeping primarily outside, basically exposed to the elements for like, a year. Cool…NOT.
-
I’m going to be around people ALL the time.
-
Just for a frame of reference, when I took the personality test that tells you your Myers-Briggs profile (shout out to my fellow ISTJ-ers), I answered ZERO questions indicating extroversion. That means being around people for extended amounts of time seriously drains me. [Introverted ≠ shy. It’s just exhausting to be in groups of people for a long time.]
-
-
I get motion sick really easily. We travel a lot on the Race. I’m going to be nauseous and grumpy on travel days. I hope my team really loves me.
-
I have to pack for a whole year in a backpack meant to hold like a weeks-maybe 10 days at the most- worth of belongings. That should be interesting.
-
I will probably have the opportunity to pee outside at some point!! Yesssssss. Check that off the bucket list.
-
My team will see all of my quirks that are charming when you only experience them for a short time but are probably really annoying when you’re around them 24/7. I hope my team really loves me.
-
I won’t be going to the chiropractor for a whole year…
-
I will have limited contact with people who have been my best friends for a long time. Sad :[
-
I’m probably going to get sick.
But in the midst of all of these thoughts and fears, I am quietly reminded why I am going on the Race in the first place:
The Lord is making me into something new
He is preparing me
He is going to stretch me
He is going to teach me
He is going to reveal Himself to me
He is molding me into someone who looks more like Jesus and less like Bethany.
God is going to show.up. y’all, and I CANNOT wait. I’m expecting to see and experience and smell and do things I never thought I could, would or should. I’m expecting to be broken and put back together. I’m expecting to worship more authentically than I ever have. I’m expecting to meet and deeply know people I wouldn’t have gotten to meet or know at all had the Lord not called me to this. I’m expecting to see and experience the Gospel and it’s effect more tangibly than I can explain. I’m expecting to love and be loved.
When I get back from the Race, I will not be the same person I was when I left! As exciting as that is (don’t get me wrong, I’m PUMPED), I will be different and life here probably won’t look much different, and that really really scares me. Am I ever going to be able to function in ‘normal’ life again after going on the Race?
Honestly, I don’t know to expect,
but if there is one thing I know,
it is that the Lord promises that He
will never leave me or forsake
me and I believe Him for that.
