Yesterday, I had my act together.
I got stuff done, didn’t miss a meeting and I was even able to get ahead a little bit on some things that are coming up.
Where I work, these kinds of days are few and typically really far between. Because of my personality and the way the Good Lord made me, this fact of life is the source of all kinds of frustration. Like serious, I’m going to scream and pull my hair out frustration.
I don’t like messing up.
I don’t like wasting time.
I like having a plan and perfectly executing it.
I like being able to feel like I accomplished something.
And I adore checking things off my to-do list.
And yesterday, all sorts of stuff got checked off. I was a little impressed with myself, honestly. On days like yesterday, I am usually walking on sunshine (and it does feel good, just in case you were wondering), claiming that my world is a happy place where unicorns check things off of their rainbow color coordinated to-do list while butterflies flutter by naked babies playing harps.
Days like yesterday are magical.
But not yesterday.
When 4:59 rolled around my computer was shutting down and I was on my way out the door, half-heartedly bidding colleagues and students ‘a good evening.’ I was reviewing my day as I was walking to my car, wondering why I was so done for the day and I realized: I got stuff done.
I firmly asked students to come sign a form, and they did.
I needed some information and I found it.
I sent out mail that needed to be sent out days prior.
I decided what we should do for appreciation gifts for our student leaders.
I filled out forms for our travel agent.
I reserved vans.
I did all of these things while numerous students came in and out of our living room (I mean, office) making a mess, laughing and living life together.
But at the end of the day, I was still done. Exhausted. Drained.
In chapter 2 of Philippians, Paul talks about being the light of the world.
“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed,
so now, not only as in my presence but much more in
my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling,
for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Do all things without grumbling or disputing,
that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God
without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation,
among whom you shine as lights in the world,
holding fast to the word of life,
so that in the day of Christ I may be proud
that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.
Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering
upon the sacrificial offering of your faith,
I am glad and rejoice with you all.
Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.”
~Philippians 2:12-18 (emphasis mine)
I. Me. Bethany Anderson, got stuff done in my own power.
And I wasn’t satisfied.
I wasn’t letting Jesus work through me, even though in the big picture, I am walking in obedience to his call on my life for this season.
Sure, I work at a University coordinating mission trips so college students can travel around the world, experiencing and spreading the Gospel.
Sure, I might be fighting the good fight but if I’m fighting in my own strength, why fight at all? Any glory or respect or sense of accomplishment I might get is temporary because I am temporary.
But the Gospel of Jesus Christ is eternal. His joy is sweeter than checking things off my list.
So that is the difference between days when I DO something for the Kingdom and days like yesterday when I get stuff done.
“…And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.””
~Nehemiah 8: 10 (emphasis mine)
