Reality Check
There are so many reasons why I am on this journey called the World Race. They range from “That’s sounds like a fun adventure” to “God is calling me to change the world.”, plus so many other reasons all over the spectrum.
It is a journey that just turned out to be a roller costar ride and left me a bit shaken. Daughters of Zion spent two awesome weeks focused in our team building and personal spiritual growth. We were intentional about getting to know each other’s “stories”, spending time playing together, and learning to love each and every one of the 8 ladies on the team. We arrived back at Alabanza for debrief a whole new team, ready to take on the world.
Only to be ripped apart…
The night before debrief started, the leadership of AIM announced that the team structures were going to be changing. DOZ will be releasing 2 ladies to Awaken, while Concrete will be releasing Casey to DOZ. The AIM leadership believes that it is best to have a male on every team, instead of the original set up of 2 teams with 2 males and 2 teams with all ladies.
At first this seemed like the worst day of my life. I felt like my newly united family was being ripped down and torn into little pieces. I was really mad, heart broken, rebellious and ready to fight back.
To be honest – team life was the thing I was least looking forward to on this journey. I didn’t really want to spend the year with 7 other ladies, I want to be on this trip, but I would be more content if I were alone (or so I thought at the beginning). BUT the more I force myself to like my team mates, I find myself falling in love them.
I spent the next morning during worship time yelling at God, telling him why teams shouldn’t change, that I don’t need guys to protect me, that we would be just fine no matter what culture we were in that God was my protection blah, blah, blah…
God so patiently listened to my heart, held me closely, asked if I was done and began to speak the words that I needed to hear.
He sent me to my new favorite book of scripture Philippians to chapter 2 where Paul is speaking to the church in Philippi about how their attitudes need be like Christ.
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being untied with Chris, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interest but each of you to the interest of others.
In your relationships with one another, have the same attitude of mind Christ Jesus had:
Who being in very nature God did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearances as a human being he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death – even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.
Philippians 2:1-11
God knocked me out with the fact that this journey is not about me, it is not about DOZ building strong relationships and becoming a family, it is not even about me changing the world. NO, this race, my relationships, my existence is about taking on the same attitude of Christ, to be humble enough to love all others before myself. To know that God is in charge, and that I can trust him to make the decisions.
So at the end of the day, DOZ is now COZ (Children of Zion), with a total of 7 people: Gina, Jessie, Gabrielle, Brooke, Elizabeth, Beth & our new addition Casey. We have peacefully handed over Cristie & Jenny to Awaken. But this must be said, they will always by my sisters no matter what team they are on or where we are in the world. And I have come to the realization that this team family is really God’s, that I do not have any control over it and in fact, my only thing I can do is worship and love God and others with a humble heart.
