I struggle A LOT with expectations of myself… I NEVER think what I do is good enough. I am never satisfied with what some might say is a job well done– instead of seeing the success, when it comes to myself, particularly in my job, I see only where I could have and should have done more. I constantly feel like a failure, and guilt has a way of paralyzing me. I say all of this not because I’m fishing for compliments, but with the realization I had on Easter Sunday– a realization that…
I don’t live like my Jesus has saved me.
I live like I have to prove that I am worthy.
I constantly “put on the chains” that God has taken away from me….
when He sacrificed his Son and when I first chose to accept Him as my Redeeemer. This ONE THING changed everything.
I don’t have to live this way because of THIS one thing: JeSuS came and took on my failures and missteps as His own!
He made me clean and new, and I thus I shouldn’t live under constant guilt!
As I sit here typing, I wonder “how did I get here?” When did I start allowing Satan to creep in and convince me I wasn’t enough? That I don’t know, but if any of you reading this also struggle with feelings such as these, I encourage you to take heart and to remember…. Don’t fall into the trap… Don’t live like He’s keeping score! He is our LIBERATOR!
One of the things I dislike most in people is when someone holds a grudge and can’t be forgiving. This isn’t something I struggle with in regard to people to people relationships, but I realized last Sunday that though I might not hold things against others, I am extremely unforgiving of myself. I expect perfection of myself, and as a result rarely (and really more like never) feel good about my performance. So these past weeks since this realization came, I’ve asked Him to help me see myself as He sees me– to trust the praise handed me by others when it is given, and to truly accept it at face value! It’s hard, but this week has been less stressful than it has in weeks, though the workload has by no means dropped off, and i know that it is because I’m giving this struggle over to Him!
So Father, I’m listening. I choose to hear you above all else… and take to heart that I am what YOU say I am….
worthy.
loved.
beautiful.
pure.
clean.
useful in your KINGDOM MISSION.
MORE THAN ENOUGH.
Please help me Lord to live these TRUTHS daily— to always remember and recognize HOW GOOD you are to me, how much you love me for me, no matter the shortcomings! How deep and wide your love is for me!
“forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”
Below, check out a brand new song from Mercyme all about what JC did for us on the cross and how we are now FLAWLESS!
