January 21
Today was an intense day. We were placed on the bar ministry prayer walk. We pray walked the street from 10am-12pm, then again from 8pm-10pm.
During the morning walk, I felt empty and full of sadness. It is heart breaking to know of the lies and darkness that hold these men, women and children in bondage. Our team prayed for the Spirit to move and bring light into the darkness.
Throughout this walk, God showed me how the simple act of prayer walking can be done anywhere, including my hometown and the streets I journey on each day. What a simple thought and lesson.
When we ventured back out that night for the second prayer walk, my team (Debbie, Rebecca and myself) stopped at the temple to pray. This was one of the darkest times I’ve ever experienced. The gates were moving and I felt dizzy. Then I felt flushed and sweaty. The evil spirits and demons were present and very upset that we were claiming that “Jesus is Lord” over these streets and over the temple grounds. What a physical demonstration of the spiritual warfare that occurs each day.
We met up with the other half of our team after 45 minutes. Their spirits were light and joyful, contrasted to our heavy and sad spirits. Stephanie shared that Scott wanted to bring joy, laughter and peace to the streets instead of being captive to the darkness and heaviness that was felt on the streets. So I allowed God to shift my spirit—renewing the joy. It was beautiful to watch God’s spirit of love and joy spread on the streets. As we would walk by, laughing and smiles would penetrate into the bars and restaurants. When we stopped for Rotee, a massive group joined. His light and love is a magnet. People are drawn out of darkness.
January 22
Our team was interceding on the behalf of the other three teams in ministry. I enjoyed this ministry component probably just as much as I did playing with the children in the slum. God has been developing the gift of prayer/intercession within me. It is a neat journey to experience.
Two songs spoke to me as I prayed over the groups: Hosanna and Love is Here. Pray these lyrics over our team, over the ministries and over the people we are serving.
Hosanna
I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing
The people sing
I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We’re on our knees
We’re on our knees
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom’s cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
Love is Here
Come to the waters
You who thirst and you’ll thirst no more
Come to the Father
You who work and you’ll work no more
And all you who labor in vain
And to the broken and shamed
Love is here
Love is now
Love is pouring from His hands, from His brow
Love is near it satisfies
Streams of mercy flowing from His side
‘Cause Love is here
Come to the treasure
You who search and you’ll search no more
Come to the lover
You who want and you’ll want no more, no
And all you who labor in vain
And to the broken and shamed, yeah
Love is here
Love is now
Love is pouring from His hands, from His brow
Love is near it satisfies
Streams of mercy flowing from His side, yeah
And to the bruised and fallen
Captives bound and brokenhearted
He is the Lord, He is the Lord, yeah
By His stripes He’s paid our ransom
From His wounds we drink salvation
He is the Lord, He is the Lord
January 23
The Lord is breaking more chains of bondage on my heart.
As I continued studying Psalms, today’s chapter is 73. I had the idea to do a 4-part poem from Victoria B on this psalm.
The Lord used this chapter to show me His love for me, but also areas where my flesh was failing. As I repented of these failures, I felt such peace and calmness wash over my spirit.
Then I continued in my quiet time with reading in “Breaking Free” by Beth Moore. In this chapter, she mentions that I have the right to be in an intimate relationship with the Lord because I am His child. And because of this right, I receive several benefits because of this relationship.
- I have the right to know Him
- I have the right to believe Him
- I have the right to glorify Him
- I have the right to find satisfaction in Him
- I have the right to experience His peace
- I have the right to enjoy His presence
Number 6 jumps off the page for me. The Lord continues to remind me to rest in Him. To rejoice in His heart and sit in His presence. This reminder just reaffirmed His teaching from Psalm 73 as well—He will provide peace and rest if I turn to Him. As I seek His presence, His joy and peace will flood into my heart.
Later that night, our squad was asked to identify strongholds and darkness that are within our hearts. As I prayed and wrote in my journal, the Lord pieced together the puzzle pieces in my mind. I realized that I never grasped the reality of my identity as His daughter. I never grasped His identity as a lover and a father, not just a just judge and a Savior. The lie that I have continued to believe is that the Lord is not sufficient enough to provide all of my needs.
Believing this lie led me to seek out fillers in: control, perfectionism, relationships, friendships, performance mindsets, condemning thoughts. Because I never grasped the idea that the Lord is gracious, I never extended grace. Because I never grasped the fact that Jesus completed the ultimate performance and perfect sacrifice, I never grasped that my performance should be done out of His compassion and love, not from my own flesh. Because I never grasped that the Lord was all-sufficient, I sought relationships and friendships to fulfill that missing piece in my heart.
Understanding the Lord’s identity has helped to solidify my own identity. There is freedom. My heart rests in His grace and sufficiency.
January 24, 2015
Adventure day!
We traveled outside of the city to Sticky Falls! We were able to climb down the waterfall…walking on the rocks and through the water. This was a beautiful way to enjoy God’s creation.
At first I didn’t even think I would get into the waterfall, but as I watched all of my squadmates boldly jump into and start walking and sliding through the falls, I called on them for encouragement and to walk through the journey together.
What a blessing this family has become for me! And I’m so glad that Stephanie and Heather were there to encourage me through the journey down the first section.
Your Spirit leads me beyond the shores. Your Spirit makes me brave.
Today was such a nice day of freedom, relaxation and joy. Laughter and exhaustion. Pure and sweet.
We ended the day with a fun worship night. The Love Rangers invited a Thai friend from a massage shop to hang out with us. We danced, Tori shared a short testimony, we worshipped Jesus and then we wrote letters of encouragement for Leah, the Thai friend.
It was a sweet way to end this day of adventure and rest. Remembering our purpose here—love the Lord, plant seeds, shine His light, and serve one another.
Psalm 65: 9-13 “You care for the land and water it; you enrich it abundantly. The streams of God are filled with water to provide the people with grain, for so you have ordained it. You drench its furrows and level its ridges; you soften it with showers and bless its crops. You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance. The grasslands of the desert overflow; the hills are clothed with gladness. The meadows are covered with flocks and the valleys are mantled with grain; they shout for joy and sing.”
Prayers:
*Week in village (Monday through Friday)
*Travel and transition to Cambodia
*Continue breaking chains and walking in His freedom
