I’ve spent the day today at a resort in Cagayan de Oro walking on a small beach and enjoying a bit of rest while several of my teammates are out scuba diving. I decided several weeks ago not to go diving simply because of the cost and I felt like a bit of rest would be better than jumping the gun and experiencing something really cool after this incredible month. God is definitely sovereign in that. He knew exactly what I would need.
I received word when we got here that my Granddaddy has passed away. He died peacefully with my mom, gramma, and aunt there with him. They were laughing together and he was looking out the window – outside to where he always wanted to be – and just went peacefully.
As prepared as I was for this (I spent a lot of yesterday grieving and talking with several people I’m close to on the squad about memories I have of him and even just being close to people because I needed it and Lord knows I’ve spent the past five months praying and grieving in stages) it was still such a huge shock – I think because I absolutely was not expecting it this morning.
But I’m going to explain to you how God is sovereign and I’ll probably blog several more times about my Granddaddy and memories I have of him and my family as I get through this. These are just a few things that God let me see today.
1. Alzheimer’s is an awful awful disease that takes the mind of the individual – to the point, often, where they don’t know anyone and possibly don’t even know themselves. This was not the case with my Granddaddy. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about three years ago and only started to really show evident signs of deterioration last spring. It was then (May) that he was put into the nursing home after having a series of strokes. Since then, he has been coherent for the most part, only sometimes mumbling about the Navy or work or something of the like. Even until today he knew each and every one of his family members by name. This wasn’t a process lasting years and years, but only a few short months for my family and for him. He didn’t suffer long and my family didn’t suffer watching him suffer for very long. Our God is a gracious God.
2. My mom was able to contact me via a friend of mine who has been on my team for the entire Race (and we were twitter friends before that) – Caitlin Sickler. I can’t begin to explain how significant it was to have Cait come and tell me – or to know that she was the one to know first. I know that was a ridiculously hard burden for her to carry, but it meant so much to me. Our God is a gracious God.
3. We’re at a resort today…..with wifi. So I have had the opportunity all day to be online skyping or emailing or texting family members about everything. I can’t imagine having been elsewhere – at ministry or even traveling to debrief or something if that were the case. Our God is a gracious God.
4. Our entire two teams were together today with squad leaders as well. Granted, most of them are on a boat right now doing some awesome scuba diving, they were all here. To have Johnny here even (he was the one to actually tell me) meant so much. And then to have Jamie to hug and A-Rex to hold my hand…Our God is just SUCH a gracious God!
Thanks to everyone who emails, texts, messages, comments, etc your condolences and other such things. I really appreciate it. I appreciate your prayers and I appreciate your love. It’s so difficult being away from home when all I want to do is hug my mom and my cousins, but again – our God is gracious and His purposes are divine! I’m so excited that my Granddaddy is with Mrs. Alice and my great grandma and my Papa in heaven right now and I am overwhelmed with the pride and peace that I feel in that and in knowing that they all know exactly where I’m at right now and they’re all saying, “Man, I’m so glad she’s doing what God’s called her to do. I’m so proud of her for walking it out.”
Our God is a gracious God.
