I’ve blogged several times on all of my different blogs about cancer’s place in my life story on several different occasions. My first knowledge of the word was very early in life when a fifth grade classmate of my brother’s died of Leukemia (I think). I was shocked and not really sure what happened or what cancer really was, but it was quite evident that it was full of heartbreak.
My next recollection of the disease came in middle school. This is where my heart became much more involved and passionate. A woman that I considered family – basically another grandmother – was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was in 8th grade. She moved in with her granddaughter for some time in order to get treatment for the cancer. Around the same time, a girl in high school that was a friend of my brother’s was diagnosed with lymphoma. And still, at the same time, a woman who is now my mother’s closest friend was diagnosed with another form of lymphoma. I didn’t understand much of what was going on besides realizing Mrs. Alice was no longer across the street when I came home from school. I vaguely remember a feeling of anxiety and worry covering my parents as they watched friends go through something so incredibly difficult and taxing.
All three of them were able to have chemo and eventually be put into remission for their diseases. Jessica, my brother’s friend, became one of my closest friends and I was able to share her journey into remission with her, including her first Relay for Life event as a cancer survivor. Mrs. Alice eventually died during my senior year of high school. Her cancer had returned and spread into her bones. Due to her age and frailty, she was basically incurable. She has, for so many years, been my reason to Relay, though there have been so many others in my life that have also been affected by cancer.
When I entered college, one of my new close friends there was on the Relay for Life committee at our school. She convinced me to captain a team that year. I spent the following three years on the committee filling various positions from Team Development Co-Chair to Committee Co-chair (which was absolutely incredible). During these years I became even more passionate about celebrating how God prevails over cancer and is able to encourage and build people up during these times that seem hopeless and impossible.
I even brought my purple Relay for Life blanket on the Race because it reminds me so much of the family I was able to find in my fellow committee members and ACS/Faculty reps (Ginny & Donna, who are so so awesome).
Soon after my team arrived here in Mutare we met a woman named Ingrid who was in remission from breast cancer as of this past May. Over the few days that we have been here, she has found that cancer has invaded another part of her body. Our teams prayed healing over her and absolutely believe it. She went to the doctor and was told that she will need 4-6 months of chemo again and possibly other treatments.
Can you call me heartbroken? I don’t cry much, but this just breaks me. No matter who you are, going through cancer twice is so hard, not only on your body, but also on your family and your finances and those around you. It’s hard for caregivers. It’s hard for cancer patients. It’s hard for doctors, even, because their news isn’t always the best news.
I don’t have a solution. Cancer is beyond my understanding. It’s beyond my ability to “fix.” It’s beyond even my emotions.
Even after losing people to cancer and seeing people victorious over cancer, I know that God is the only one who can heal. Medicine doesn’t do anything. Chemo doesn’t do anything. Radiation doesn’t do anything. God is the only one who does, but it just sucks to see this struggle in someone like Ingrid who is so full of life, love, and JOY.
** This is a little blurb I wrote a few years ago for my reason to Relay if you'd like to read it, but ignore the part about me being co-chair of Berry's Relay. That's a few years old. http://laserlemonyellow.blogspot.com/p/relay-my-story-yours.html
