This will probably be the last all-text post I have for a while, but I want to talk to you about what I'm expecting (or not expecting) on this trip.
I'm a planner.
I can say confidently that I've gone through a million scenarios, researched, and asked myself as many what-if questions as possible in order to "prepare" for this trip. That's helped me realize this:
1) I want to be uncomfortable. I've spent the last four years absorbing tons of information, taking tests, reading books, learning who I am and developing me. It's time for me to be uncomfortable. It's time for me to share some of the lessons, love, and information I've been blessed to encounter and learn from over the past four years. I can't justify getting a job or going to graduate school right now because I'm full to the brim with so much that I can't possibly drink in anything more. I want to share it all (maybe I watched too much Barney as a child..?). I want to give. I want to learn what it means to serve on a daily basis – both on the mission field and in 'everyday life' back home. I've had a lot of people say, "Go! While you still can!" I don't ever want to get to the point where I feel like I can't go. I want that mindset to be completely uncomfortable to me. I want to only be comfortable in being uncomfortable,being stretched, being out of control, and being in God.
2) I want to be remade. I'm not the most out-going person you'll ever meet, but I'm also not an introvert. I'm not always comfortable telling my story. I get really caught up in my failures and how I fall short of God's love and the love of those around me. I hate letting my friends/family down and when that does happen, it's knocks me down for a long time. I want to be broken of that inability to forgive myself and remade into God's woman. I want to break generational curses that I know exist and step out on the ashes of Satan's attempts at my life in the past 22 years and walk confidently in God's will for my life, even if that means graduate school.
I know that's not a long list and I'm sure it will grow as September gets closer, but these two are the basis for everything I want for this trip: To be uncomfortable and to be remade.
