I've been getting this question a lot – I mean a lot – from almost everyone.
And to answer you simply – hell yes.
I wake up every morning scared that too many people will change while I'm gone and I won't have friends when I get back – irrational fear, I know, but after losing as many friends as one can lose in 22 years it's hard not to wonder. I love my community. I don't want to lose them!
I am constantly wondering if I will get sick. I hate getting sick. Fevers and throwing up are the worst things ever. I don't want to do any of that! But honestly, I probably will at some point while on the Race.
I'm scared that I'll be living with scary rats or ticks or ants or other mysterious bugs in some bush somewhere. Better yet, tarantulas! Or roaches the size of my arm! (I still have absolutely no idea why God created roaches. How are they proactive at all besides jump starting my heart at one time or another? They really have NO good function!!)
Sometimes I get scared that God will call me to pray healing over someone and I'll chicken out. It sounds weird, but I know God does that – STILL – and I know that in America we suck at believing that. We're awful! We are so stuck on logic and reasoning that we forget what it means to TRUST. And God only knows I'm the worst about that.
Money is a constant fear for me. God is always testing how much I trust him with my finances. This time is no different at all. But my God is NEVER late!
MORE THAN ALL OF THIS
I'm scared of what would happen if I didn't go.
I know that I would be disobeying what God has called me to do.
I know that the people I would have come in contact with would be without knowledge of God for that much longer.
I know that those people my squad and I will equip with the tools to spread Jesus to their communities wouldn't be equipped at the soonest time.
I know that my life wouldn't change for the better and I would be uncomfortable, out of place, and far away from my lifeline – Jesus.
So yes, I'm scared, but not scared enough to sit at home in a box .. not scared enough to keep from risking even the slightest for the God who risked it ALL for me.
So, I will go.
