When I think of ‘praise’ and ‘worship,’ my first thought is adoration to the Father through song. This past week in class, my opinion on this was opened to the Hebrew reality. Through our worship director Arden, we learned about 7 Hebrew words for praise. To give you a quick summary…
- Halal – to praise, to boast, to act clamorously foolish. The word ‘hallelujah’ comes from this!
- Yadah – to throw, shoot, or cast glory to Him; to confess or give thanks. It translates directly to “open hands to God.”
- Towdah – confession & praise in reference to a peace offering. The root word is thanksgiving.
- Barak – to bless, to kneel, to salute.
- Shabach – to soothe, still, praise, commend; triumph.
- Zamar – to pluck the strings of an instrument, to play it and accompany it with the voice.
- Tehillah – to sing songs and praise highly in a public setting.
As he taught, Arden gave us activities to go along with these words to have a tangible example. With the word ‘yadah,’ he asked that we raise our hands in praise to the Father for the entirety of a worship song. We all know how long live worship songs can get, and this one was a solid 6 minutes. I was instantly thrown back to my childhood spent in the hospital dealing with an autoimmune disease called Juvenile Dermatomyositis. This disease attacked my immune system and specifically my muscles and nerves. Treatment after treatment, I dreaded going to the hospital. The test I dreaded the most was simple but usually ended in tears: to hold my legs and arms up as long as I could to test my muscle strength. Since my muscles weren’t to the place they were supposed to be, this test was difficult and oh so painful.
When Arden asked us to hold up our arms, I was thrown back to these tests. The pain they produced, the frustration that my body wasn’t working right, the embarrassment that I couldn’t do it, every feeling came to mind.
“When you start to feel the pain soak in, ask the Father to come and hold up your hands. He’s here and will sustain you through it all.”
This completely changed my mindset about it. I was able to get excited about the activity and see the beauty in it. I went back to the countless tests of lifting my arms and legs and asked the Father where He was in those times. He brought me back to the little hospital room and I saw Him cheering me on, wiping my tears, and holding my hands and legs when they wanted to quit. He was there even when I didn’t feel Him one bit.
As the pain began to set in with our worship activity, I prayed to the Father and asked that He would come alongside me in this pain. I felt His presence in the room and knew I needed to hold my own arms up. I knew that I was CAPABLE of holding my own arms up because He gives me strength. The goodness He pours out so graciously is worth all the praise I could ever give.
Class has been going on for a little over a month now and some days feel like a knife to the heart. Keeping my hands open and arms up in the difficult moments, the moments it hurts, are always the times overflowing with learning opportunities.
I haven’t been the best with sharing my story with you all as I’ve gotten to Georgia, and I’ve told myself excuse after excuse for why it’s okay.
“I’ve been busy with work…”
“Class consumes all of my energy…”
“I’ll get to it tomorrow…”
And I’m putting my foot down. I am deeply sorry for not taking the time to share my story. The Father has provided me with each of you to walk this journey with and withholding His joy is selfish on my part. He reveals so many fun and exciting things in day to day life—I’m beyond excited to share them with the people who I have the blessing of sharing life with. Thank you for being patient with me.
Here’s the music that’s pressed my heart recently…
“At the Table” by Josh Garrels
“The Mtn Song” by Rayland Baxter
“Old Pine” by Ben Howard
“Born Again” by Josh Garrels
