Unconnected.
If I’m being totally honest, that’s how I’ve felt at times over this past month.
This isn’t saying I’ve been disconnected from my team or squad, but instead, I felt unconnected at times with our ministry. This had nothing to do with the ministry itself or what we were doing. Instead, it had to do with the fact that I wasn’t always able to fully connect with the people we were working with.
Our ministry this past month brought us in contact with many addicts, homeless, and those in poverty (sometimes extreme poverty), and being that I don’t have a past with any of those things, I struggled at times to really connect with people on a deeper level like I wanted to. I struggled with this for a while and got fairly frustrated for a time. I felt a disconnect that I wasn’t sure how to bridge, or even if I could bridge it. It just felt like I didn’t have anything to offer at times.
Thankfully for me though, God meets us where we’re at.
This past month has been one of much growth and healing and near the top of that list is diving deeper than ever into who God created me to be, becoming more mature in that, and trusting that He’ll work through me no matter how I feel. It took a week or two for me to fully realize the power of God in our disconnects, but once I did and started to surrender it to Him, I saw God move in more ways than I ever had before.
People who spoke English started literally finding me, and I got to minister to them (I honestly went over a week with barely using a translator which is incredible considering my very limited Spanish vocabulary).
I started connecting with kids through sports, games and crazy non-verbals (so much fun!).
I saw God answer prayers of healing.
God gave me visions and inner-healing in my own time.
And, I actually started connecting with people over the fact that I didn’t feel totally at home.
I learned this month that it doesn’t matter how we feel or what we think about ourselves. I learned that even in my disconnect, God was still using that to teach me and guide me to places where I was able to further the kingdom. God’s plan is so much higher than mine, and it’s crazy what God will do when we let Him. Our God isn’t confined by how we feel or what our experience level is or by what our past contains or doesn’t have. Our God simply works with what we have and brings us higher than we can imagine. Praise Him!
God Bless!
-Ben
