Two weeks ago, we set off on El Camino de Santiago (the way of St. James). This journey began in Porto, Portugal, where you begin walking, and finished roughly 150 miles later in northern Santiago de Compostela, Spain. This walk has a long history, dating back hundreds of years to when pilgrims would walk to Santiago to receive a letter there granting them a shorter purgatory sentence. Since then, thousands have walked this route; some on a spiritual journey and others just to say they did it. We walked it to finish our own race.
Starting out, I figured 150 miles wouldn’t be too bad; after all, I’m used to walking long distances with a bag on my back from years of playing golf. Let’s just say though, that wasn’t how it went.
We walked almost 20 miles the first day because of some misinformation on the route app and decided to walk the same distance the next day because that would put us a full day ahead of schedule, but our feet paid the price. I developed a wear spot on the back of my heel that made walking without the protection of tape or a bandage painful, and I was in the least amount of pain in our group. Even with rest days, getting up to walk (often in the rain) became tough; and that’s where my pride kicked in.
If you know me, you know I’m extremely competitive and also a perfectionist (hardcore enneagram one here), and that made it hard for me to admit my weakness. I started finding myself pushing through the pain, ignoring it and starting to build a mask around that. I felt at times like I had to keep going, had to prove myself. And that’s where God met me.
Despite the physical pain, the Camino was incredibly good for me mentally, spiritually and emotionally. God showed me a lot over the past couple weeks, and my pride and self-image was a big one. At the end of the day, I really have nothing to prove and yet that feeling kept coming up. I didn’t need to finish the Camino first or be the strongest or least injured, yet I struggled to really believe that. God taught me so much more about how showing tiredness and pain isn’t weakness. These are issues I thought I’d dealt with long ago, and yet, they came back this month and God showed me how much more work there is to be done in my life. Yet, that’s not a bad thing.
Every month on the race, God’s given me a prophetic word to focus on and pour into, and this month my word was: Progression.
God used weakness and pain to crush my pride this month, and He reminded me that there’s still work to do in my life and that it’s ok. The World Race has been maybe the best thing I’ve done in my life, but it’s not the end. There’s still a life to lead, relationships to pursue, and lessons to learn.
My foot is still in a little bit of pain (it’s almost gone), but it feels different now. It doesn’t have the same mental and prideful tone as it did before. I know more than ever now that it’s ok to show my weaknesses; that it’s ok to not always be the strongest; that I can rest, more than ever, in who God says I am.
We’ve officially finished the Camino; now it’s time to rest as the World Race is beginning to come to a close; and I’m thankful for a God who meets me wherever I’m at. This year, He’s met me in the highs and the lows, in my great moments and my bad, and I know He’ll continue to do that as my life goes on. For now, I’m just embracing the joy and the pain together, as I can see Him in both, and I’m looking ahead to the future He’s prepared for me.
“Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, ‘I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, Who leads you in the way you should go'” -Isaiah 48:17
God Bless!
-Ben
