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For those of you who know me, you’ll know that when on a trip I really enjoy driving. If you know me more than that, you’ll know that my second favorite place to be now is in the trunk…those of you who know that have probably heard this analogy, but I figured I’d write it anyway. In fact, I think I’m going to write down random ones that I have used in the past years as well as new ones as time goes on throughout this blog…

 

So, a vast majority of the people who will read this have probably been driving vehicles for quite some time now. Some of you may like driving while others may not…either way, when you are driving, one of the last things you really want is a “back-seat driver.” I’ll get back to this in awhile though because I have to no express my progression of how I started to enjoy riding in the trunk!
 

I don’t remember the very first time I was ever in a trunk, but I do remember the exhilaration of some of the first times back there. Being a guy, I felt a certain desire to act adventurous and crazy and when I had the opportunity to jump on in I did so with a lot of adrenaline and anticipation…Now, once I was in there, I found that it was a bit more cramped than I had expected and a lot more closterphobic than I normally would be (I never really feel that way so it was something new.) The next step for me was to focus really hard on where we were going so that I could be the know-it-all when we got back…it didn’t take long for me to get dis-oriented and a bit dizzy by all the unexpected turns…Truth is I was ready to be out of that trunk a lot earlier than when we actually stopped. However, the moment they let me out, I was back on my feet with a big smile acting like I knew where we were going and how “cool” it had been to be back there…
 
The next few times I was in the trunk, things started to change…I started to actually ease up a bit because I had less to prove to others or myself or whoever I thought I was proving myself to…I started finding ways to make the ride a bit more comfortable and I started to actually trust the driver a bit more so I was less tense. I came to the realization that I trusted who was driving and there wasn’t anything I could really do back there anyway, so why sweat it?
 
The next few times something strange happened- I actually started to enjoy it….like really enjoy it instead of acting like I enjoyed it!!! I started to look forward to being in the trunk because it became a time where I could once again just breath and let go of whatever was going on in the world…I became still and let my heart still long enough to listen and enjoy whatever my Dad wanted to say to me…it became a peace and a comfort to me…Because of that reason alone, it is still a place I look forward to being in and the ironic thing is that when I truly came to peace with myself being in the trunk, I started to understand a lot better where the driver was taking me.

 
 
 

Before
I became a Christian, and even years after while I have been maturing,
I found myself in the “driver’s seat” of my life. Before I knew God I
just had assumed that I was in control of my life. Sure, my parents and
siblings and teachers and such affected where I was going, but I
ultimately thought that I had the wheel. When I became a Christian, I
handed over the wheel to Jesus. However, thinking that I knew better
direction, I found myself often becoming a “back-seat driver” or
grabbing for the wheel again.

Since God has given me a free will,
he has allowed me to dictate at times what direction I wanted to take.
However, the distractions all around me at times made it ridiculously
hard to figure out what direction I ought to take. I’ve found myself at
some dead ends, or on the wrong track. Each time, I inevitably have to
humble myself and ask Him to take the wheel again, because He knows
better than I do.

However, after going back and forth between trying to drive and letting Him drive, letting Him go where He wanted to take me and trying to tell Him where I thought He should take me, He asked me if I trusted Him…of course I did I told Him and He asked me to try out the trunk…The idea of it was exhilarating for some odd reason, but I didn’t know
why. Once I was in the trunk and the hatch was closed, I started to
have second thoughts. This crazy idea started to actually seem somewhat
crazy. It was darker at first than I had planned with a little less
room than hoped for. I’m not exactly closterphobic (sp?) but there was
a definite feeling of anxiety as I knew that I had NO control over
anything.
 
He took me for a ride and it was a bit longer in the dark than I’d prefer, but it He stopped to give me a breather. When He opened the hatch I was quick to act like I had enjoyed the whole trip and had known this was exactly where He was taking me…even though I really had been confused a lot with how He actually got me there…
 
Then, He let me back in the trunk and I started to be a little more at ease about it…this time I started to trust His driving and find a way to be still and comfortable with not knowing where I was headed. I started to realize that He was in control and there really wasn’t a whole lot I could do about it (even if I really, truly wanted to) and there was a certain calm and serenity to that realization. This time I still didn’t know where I was headed but I was looking forward to figuring it out in the end…
 
This time when He let me out of the trunk, I realized how far we had come together and how He had orchestrated everything so perfectly as He had maneuvered around so many difficulties I wouldn’t have even noticed! That’s when something strange inside of me switched…for some odd reason I started to yearn for the next time I would be in a situation where I had to be dependent wholly on Him because the more He was in control, the more peace I had about where He was taking me. I started to desire and look forward to the next time I had the opportunity to get in the trunk and go for a ride with Him…
 
 Now…all that being said,  I’m getting a  lot better at knowing where He’s taking me as far as the next step but I’m still so often blind to how He will get me to it or through it…I am hopeful that there will come a day when He puts me up front next to Him and gives me the eyes to see how and when, where and whom…but for now, I am actively awaiting patiently for my heart to drop it’s fears, doubts and lack of understanding so that I may cling to the trust of an almighty God…the one who has planned my footsteps and prepared a way long before I was born…