Jewish weddings…I actually wish I knew more about the Jewish culture and look forward to possibly "learning it" instead of "learning of it" some day. Anyway, the following isn't comprehensive by any stretch of the imagination of the preparation for a Jewish wedding, but I want to share a bit with you so that I can reflect on where Ang and I are at…
Back in the day, a man intent on marriage would come to the father of the woman he desired to marry. The two would discuss a bridal price which was not ever supposed to be equated with the value of the bride…however, a small price would be exchanged. The man would then present a cup of wine to the woman. She then had three choices:
1. She could pour it out which obivously meant **** NO!!! I used asterisks to show how emphatically the woman really didn't want to be a part of the marriage in any way.
2. She could drink it which obviously meant **** YESS!!! Haha, this time I just used them for fun. However, you get the point that she really wants to marry this dude and is ALL IN!!!
3. She could choose not to drink it AND choose not to pour it out…What does that mean? Well, it means that she would place the cup on the table and it would remain there as a symbol that she is choosing to marry the man. However, it isn't because of her desire. She will marry the man to respect her father, the culture and the family…She chooses to be faithful but is making it clear that this wasn't her desire.
I'm really thankful that I have a woman in my life that would go with door number 2. I really can't think of a sadder situation than 3 where the bride really doesn't have a desire to be with the one she's about to be with for life…
Regardless, the young (or old) man then retreats to his father's house to prepare a place for his bride. He can't come back for a minimum of a year and even then has to wait for the consent of HER father. Therefore, they would say that no man knows the day nor the hour that he will return…not even the son, but only the father. AGAIN, the father of the bride…not the father of the groom…
When that day comes, the groom wastes no time and often comes in the middle of the night to sweep away his bride. He comes in with a shout and the bride goes with him along with the virgins who are found waiting with oil in their lamps…then dat da dat da da…they get married, they go into the wedding chamber, stuff happens and a week later, his bride finally comes out revealed.
There is this Jesus dude who was fully man and fully God. It's kind of crazy to wrap your head around and I want to spend more time just talking about Jesus in other blogs. Anyway, He came and went through this process for those of us who choose to be His bride.
He came and talked with the Father and the Father determined a price that needed to pay…This price didn't equal the value of the bride. It was in fact little in comparison to her. That is why Jesus could "consider it pure joy on the cross"…Did He love paying for sin and taking on the wrath of God? No. Very somberly, not at all. However, He knew the value in the bride in what she was going to become. He also knew that she that is forgiven much will love much. What a gift He was about to receive.
He then went to His father's house to prepare a place for His bride and He has to wait a period of time for the bride to get ready. Currently He is itching and scratching with more pent up emotion than you know to come back and get His bride…but He doesn't know when that will be…He's still waiting on the father of the bride to say, "son, go ahead. She's ready and she's yours…"
May He come back to a bride that has desired to drink fully of that cup and not just half heartedly chosen to not pour it out for respect to a christian culture or family or anything else…
NOW- Where we're at.
This summer, God told me to go back to Marquette and prepare for my bride. Up until literally this second, I didn't really know what that process looked like. However, I came back here and He started putting the pieces together. Ang and I got caught up in His whirwind romance and then were just as quickly seperated. Meanwhile, we're in the waiting process as a K-1 Fiance Visa can take anywhere from like 3 months to 11 months…sometimes longer to fully get processed. It costs us a lot and I'm not just saying money. From that time we've got 3 months to get married which shouldn't be a problem except for the fact that it complicates it a bit if we want to do any wedding planning and if we want to honor those of you who have followed our lives and impacted us. So, without any concrete answers or plans and even more complications than I want to get into on here, we find ourselves itching, waiting and praying to be with each other.
I'm thankful for this heart-wrenching gift often times but not always. You see, I'm learning to taste and see how badly my Jesus desires to come back to His bride. It's not as if He's just chilling up there and eventually will come back. I'm not even convinced that He's just waiting for His bride to like Him enough to rouse Him from His position…although, His bride might need a heart check. I'm starting to see that He is absolutely beside Himself trying to get back to His bride and pining over her so much that He spends all of His time at the right hand of God telling Him about His bride and petitioning Him for favor, for grace, for mercy, for love, that they would see…that they would forgive and be free…that they would have ears to hear…that they would be one…
So in short…We are at a place where He keeps pursuing us hard even through our waiting and even through our discomfort and even through our sometimes unhappy looking faces that want to complain…Be patient with us as we try to step into the waiting with a fiery grace and calm trust. Also, on a side note if you made it this far in the blog, I'm thinking about writing a book about what I'm starting to believe is the greatest transition a life is supposed to make…Drop me an email if reading that someday would honestly interest you. I'm trying to gauge if what I want to write would be for me, my children, you or whomever…
