Waiting…
Some of you antsy people who have just been yearning for the next blog to get rolled out are getting a small vicarious taste to what Ang and I are living right now. I've had some pretty intriguing thoughts about that subject but we'll have to get to that in another blog.
It's been a few days since I last wrote and that's partially because of a pretty hectic schedule right now and partially because I'm trying to weigh the balance of what details to share and how transparent to get. You see, the point of being transparent is not so that you will see the depths of me clearer…The point is so that you'll see the depths of Him when you look at me. I don't want our blogs to be transparent in a way that brings us glory or honor from you. Likewise, we have no desire to be put on anyone's pedastal. We're working through this thing called life just like you. We're going through the transitions of how to live by His Spirit and not just our strength like many of you. The fight to do things on your own strength multiplies when you have another person in your life that it directly affects…forever. I can't even imagine the depth it gets to when you start having kids. I hope to God that He gives us the blessings of children some day.
Anyway, God gave the two of us a window through our transitions to block out the rest of the world to a degree and just BE in His presence. Whether it was boating, hiking, chilling by a fire or eating in unison, we had the opportunity to be ourselves in His presence and enjoy each other. The busyness of America grieves me sometimes because we forget the goodness of His rest.
Ang had an opportunity to see me in my environment and around "my people" for the first few days. I had no desire to prove anything and I enjoyed stepping away and watching her handle conversations with friends and family with extreme grace and actual intrigue. Each day I was getting further and further into a mess for her…just one example would be me face down in my plate of…you know what! I still don't remember what we were eating then. All I know was that I was enjoying her too much to do anything else but put my head down and soak it in…Unfortunately it happened to occur while we were eating. At least she loved it! 🙂
Meanwhile, God had been taking that blank sheet of paper in her heart and scribbling furiously all over it. It only took 3 days into her trip before she couldn't handle it. That's when her heart exploded all over me. To say I was overwhelmed by the speed and goodness of my dad who had quickened her spirit for me as He had done to me for her would be an understatement. I also then got to enjoy the satisfaction of seeing her become a mess for me…
Now we both KNEW…and we had 6 days left. So we enjoyed them and I'm keeping those memories for us for now.
The 9 days came to an end and it wasn't sad like you'd expect. Instead, we were both filled with a wonderment of His faithfulness and looked forward to getting things done so that we could get together forever. As she left, I quickly realized that while I had been waiting for her all of my life, this would be the first time that I waited for her while actually knowing her…
yay :-/
