In my last blog, I wrote about some staggering statistics that to me are more than statistics. I can’t grasp the magnitude of the problems at hand but I have faces etched in my heart from things I have seen.
I could sit here and tell you about the little girl who lives in the median of a main street near Port au Prince who shattered my heart at a glance. I looked over to see her sitting there playing “house” with half a doll and a doll house built of rubble.
Or I could tell you about the communities we found there that after multiple months still were living in “shelters” made of sticks and bed sheets while laying on beds of rocks and cardboard (at least the lucky ones that didn’t just sleep in the mud.”
Or I could tell you about Rubbish Mountain that gets blogs written about it fairly often by ever world racer that goes through that area in Pnom Penh. I could tell you that even though they were compelled to salvage through literal tons of garbage to make about 2 cents a kilo for plastic, there was a glimmer in some of the ladies eyes…I could even tell you how surprised I was to see the neatly done finger nails with pretty colors hidden underneath the saturation of smells and disgust. Then it hits me that this is by no means the first or last garbage dump that I’ve seen.
Or I could tell you about the women in the DR who was getting stoned and beaten by her husband in front of my friends…all to find out that this guy killed a dude in the past and carved his name into the guys chest to make sure everyone knew it was him…the people there aren’t willing to confront or stop him.
Or I could tell you about the children in the Ukrainian orphanage that I went to that was filled with invalid children…some without names…think about that!
Then there’s the absurd number of children being sold to Maribu’s (means discipler and is essentially a pastor for Muslim’s) and then they’re being turned around and sent to the streets to beg for money and clothes…yet they’re not supposed to challenge a Maribu so he keeps gaining wealth through these beggars and well meaning tourists so that he can turn around and get more children…
While we’re in Western Africa, I could tell you of stories I’ve heard of parents maiming their own children because they know that this way the children will always be dependant on them and an income for them.
Then there’s the child soldiers…you know what, I don’t even have to get into their stories for you to know what I mean.
Or I could tell you about the prostitute in Thailand who was raped and had a child and has sacrificed her life in the time being to make as much money (unfortunately that means through selling herself) as possible to get her child out of that kind of life…
Or I could tell you about widows who get taken advantage of in Southern Africa…especially the younger ones because there is a widespread belief that having sex with a virgin will cure AIDS…
AND, it probably doesn’t help that the president of South Africa ( a “first world nation” mind you) made a public declaration after sleeping with a prostitute that it was “OK, because he took a shower afterwards…” Really??? Come on now!!!
One study said that over half (I believe it was 56%) of everyone in Swaziland has AIDS.
All of this doesn’t even scratch the surface of those who are battered, torn, beaten, and poor. It doesn’t include the attrocities in a place like Burma where there is all sorts of vile things happening to their people.
I find that I can rarely come up with words to truly express the things that are residing deep within me. From the outside I must look like a wanderer or someone who just “goes where the wind blows me”. I’ve seen looks of people within the Christian community and even amongst family and friends that sometimes says “what are you doing? Why don’t you just get a job? Why don’t you settle down and get married? There are plenty of people who need help here!”
…and a part of me wants to shut down…another part of me wants to fight back…another part of me just wants to cry…then there’s the part of me that I’ve been working on to give grace and love because I feel like saying “Dad, forgive them because they don’t know…”
The truth of the matter is that I am confident I could get a steady job, possibly find someone willing to marry this mess, have children (Lord willing) and stay put for awhile. I’m sure this would make a number of people close to me a bit more at ease. Likewise, the truth of the matter is that there is a huge part of my heart that really would like to stay in one place, pursue a woman and have children and a steady job somewhere…Furthermore, I am well aware of the fact that there are needs here! I’m not quite sure why some people assume that I can’t see that if it’s something that I kind of have devoted much of my life to. However, part of me thinks “good, that’s why God has put someone like you here…He’d like to send someone like me to a place that doesn’t have anyone standing up for them…”
Regardless, I’ve gone on quite the rant because I desire for you to understand a bit of what drives some of my actions. God has been leading me down an intriguing path towards greater freedom from the things that hold me back…including myself. My desire is to build His kingdom and not my own. My desire is to give Him glory. My desire is to become intimate with the one who created me. My desire is to give my life away so that He can do whatever He wants to do with me.
I mentioned my affinity for change earlier and the more I do, the more I realize that this world badly needs change…For many, the change they need is for hope and for someone to love them…
Will you be that person?
Will I be that person?
