So here it is after 2 am and I’ve been in bed for awhile. Almost asleep and drifting in thought, I’ve found myself verbalizing some of the things that I have been wrestling with and feel the desire to share them with you before I lose them in the drowsiness. My pride would have me not share about inadequacy since it’s been a bit of a struggle in my life. However, for those of you who have followed this year, this isn’t the first time so I guess it’s already too late 🙂
Anyway, it was a pretty big revelation to me that some of my struggles were based out of this perception of inadequacy last year. Well, I took another risk and realized that it’s a bit different than i had first thought. After digging a little deeper I found this truth: The source of many of my struggles was not based on my inadequacy…it was based on my hope that there was a part of me that was adequate! Realistically, I like to think that I have something worthy to offer on my own. Until I lose that hope, it will be a hindrance to me. Without Jesus, there is nothing in me that is worthy or adequate. That is truth! Likewise, having Jesus has made me completely adequate even with all the blunders that tend to nag at me. That is also truth. Both comments are much easier to understand as truth than to live as truth.
We often are wary of looking deeper at our heart for fear that we won’t find something as pretty or valuable as we thought…It’s a humbling thing when we take the risk and find that there really is a lot of garbage in there. Realistically, there’s even more than we initially thought! However, while we realize we were less than we thought, there’s an accompaning truth that gets revealed. HE is also infinitely more than we thought! The cost of of humbling ourselves as who we’ve been pays for the vision to see who He always is and helps free us to be who we were created to be. That might sound complicated at first read so go back and read that again.
It comes down to this. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom and the truth shall set you free. So, if you’re not free on the inside, then you either need to get in His presence or face some truth that you’ve avoided, ignored or were afraid to honestly look at.
Freedom is available to you at this very moment…Are you going to accept it or is it more comfortable to continue trying to count the cost?
