Three weeks later I boarded a plane still pretty seriously sick on my way to Georgia for training camp. My desire was to get rest, be quiet and find a way to get behind the scenes. I had a couple precious days before my group of 20 college kids would be coming in amped and ready to take off for the jungle.
Well, every time this one girl walked past me, a song triggered in my head. It actually took me awhile to realize that it was triggered by her presence because it's a song God has used to encourage me in the past. It's a song by Misty Edwards and the part that would get kickstarted in me when she was around went like this:
"You make all things beautiful..
You make all things beautiful…
You make all things beautiful…
Just in time…time… time…
So hold on…my soul…Hold on and know…
Hold on my soul…
Because He makes all things beautiful…
Just in time…time…time…
Those who wait upon the Lord, shall never be put to shame…"
The song keeps going but those were the words that would play over and over in my head. Well, finally I got the hint and realized that He wanted me to share that song with her. So, as everyone was trying to get ready for bed, I joined a table with this girl I hadn't yet talked to and asked her if she had heard of that song before. She hadn't and so I went and got her my Ipod and let her borrow it because I felt as though God wanted her to hear it. She went into another room and came back 15 min later thankful and encouraged and that was the end of it…or so I thought.
A day or two later, God started randomly telling me things about this Angie girl that I had only briefly talked to. He just jumped into it.
"Benny…you see that one? She's been cut from the absolute finest of fabric…"
"What??? Where did that come from? Well…that's cool."
"Yeah, she's going to have a husband some day that will make her thrive like she's never known before…"
He kept telling me more and more about her heart and her future husband which finally provoked me to respond saying:
"Woah!!! What exactly am I supposed to do with all of this? I don't even know this girl."
"I want you to tell her what I think of her…Tell her about her husband."
"God, seriously? That's not guarding her heart at all!!"
"I want you to trust me that I will guard it…"
"yeah…ok."
…and I walked away. The next couple days I couldn't shake this conversation and I sat down to check my motives to realize that I dind't have any impure motivations with it…after all, I didn't know this girl and I was about to take off for the jungle and she was about to go to Africa. This wasn't exactly a time to be looking for a date. The longer I took to check my intentions and hope that He would just let it go, the more He just started telling me about her…The things He's designed her for, the heart of trust He's developed in her, the purity He's called her to…
FINE!! I'll go tell her.
So, the evening before heading out to Peru, I pull Angie aside for a few minutes to have a conversation that could be taken a number of different ways and could produce plenty of awkwardenss… I asked her how well she guarded her heart and shared the pieces of His heart for her that I felt peace about sharing…
She was obviously touched and encouraged and overwhelming thankful…even to the point that she could only get out those words. "Thank You". That was it. That was the response. I was grateful that it wasn't awkward and that she was encouraged. I assumed at this point that she just needed to hear it from a guy and that God knew my willingness to do wack things. Regardless, I left her with some space and got ready for Peru with less than 10 minutes of conversation under my belt with her and no intentions of pursuing her.
However, I now knew a bit of what God thought about her.
Little did I know at the time that she had just gone through one of the hardest and driest seasons of many in her life. She had been defeated and discouraged and there was a cry deep inside of her that wailed for God to send a man after His heart to share with her that he could see her heart. She was at a place once again where the whispers of whether she would have to settle or what she would have to settle for in having a man in her life…my guess is that some of my readers know that place. It's a solemnly grave thing to swallow and yet a reality many of us known if we're honest enough to be real with ourselves.
So, just a couple days after her plea that God would send a man that would tell her some of the depths of her own heart and the promise of a man who would make her thrive in a way that she wouldn't have to ever compromise, here I come…
Her mind was racing and her heart was smothered by His affection for her and when she tried to put words to it all…only two words came out…"Thank You…"
Somehow, that was more than enough for the both of us and we went our opposite directions towards each other.
To be continued…
