Going home thoughts

Going home…I just opened up this page and was going to start typing about a completely different topic that has been in my head and then the words “going home” were the first thing that came out…so I’m going to run with it and see where these words take us.

 

I will be heading home soon- about a month or so actually which is very soon…but what is home? I think that for years I would have linked home with my physical childhood home in Houghton, MI. However, I doubt that all of my brothers would feel the same. They moved more than I did and by the time my parents really settled in somewhere they were about to move on once again.

 

I remember the first time driving back to Houghton from college where I couldn’t pull into the driveway and go inside anymore because it didn’t belong to us anymore. It was a really strange feeling that I found somewhere lodged inside of me that Houghton still felt like home but I had no house there. What I did have were my parents in a foreign apartment and friends families along with the familiar loving faces of so many from church. I had the comfortability of the same stores, restaraunts and view even though that was changing. Unconciously, I also had the familiarity of the seasons changing once again although I didn’t truly value that until I was stuck in constant summer mode off in Senegal…Needless to say, there were many elements of home but it wasn’t quite the same.

 

Through the end of high school and into college there were a number of people who were close to me who passed away. Some expected and others not. I’m not sure any hit me in the gut initially harder than losing my friend Jason. He was in a freak accident that put him into a coma that slowly slided into the rest that he’s in now. This was near the time when my parents moved “south” and I was in transitions at college. I was going through a season of storminess that God was using to prune the parts of me that weren’t bringing any life. Suddenly I started feeling very much like this life is short and this world is not my home. This was the first time in my life where I ever was legitimately homesick for heaven. Does that mean I was suicidal or any of that? By no means! I was just starting to come to a realization that the only places now where I truly feel at home have to do with Him.

 

I feel most at home when I am around those who love me and those I love the most and the physical places where that love has been felt. The one who loves me the most is God and so the places that I feel the most at home are when He has touched my heart the most…strange how that works but it’s true.

 

Anyway, I have been getting on a bit of a rant so I will bring it back a bit. By thanksgiving I will be back in the States with no further plans past November. I imagine I will be living with my parents in their “home” for a little while but I don’t know for how long. I will be with my dad’s side of the family for thanksgiving and being with family means a lot to me! I may also get a chance to get out into the woods for a few days with my dad to hunt before the end of the season which would also mean a lot to me. There are countless friends and family who are dear to me that I am excited to catch up with but I have no way of making a schedule for that and frankly I am not looking forward to being immersed back into a country so caught up with schedules and what we do. (I will save that for another rant though)

 

 So…back to the initial thought about going home. I look forward to seeing you all once again and sharing life with you then. I obviously look forward to hearing about your past year as well as telling you about mine, but I am starting to value the present time I will have with you then even more. Likewise there is something growing inside of me where I look forward to having my new home established forever with Him…which looks next to nothing like what a vast amount of christians are taught it will look like…but again that is another rant 🙂