Change.
It's about the only constant in our lives.
For some of you that's a depressing thought. Others have already avoided the rest of this blog. Then there's plenty of others who at the whisper of that truth feel a stir of hope that maybe, just maybe, that means things will change for them too…
It's intriguing to me how much life is spent in the efforts of avoiding the life in front of us. Somewhere along the way we've traded in our sense of vibrant mystery for the dull fear of the unknown. How many times have we stood at the edge of a cliff with our senses alive crawling inside us, begging us to take a plunge, only to second guess ourselves because we're not sure how deep the water is or how large the rocks are below…
Sometimes I wonder how long it will take us to realize that always choosing the "safe" option often leads us to the most dangerous destination.
Are you alive?
Seriously though…are you?
Are you soaking in the sunsets?
Letting the rains cleanse your regrets?
Drawing deep of the most refreshing whispers?
Saturating yourself in the smile found in the eyes of your lover?
Is your heart at peace?
Have you let go of your striving?
Have you let forgiveness wash over you?
Are you living at a pace where you just enjoy the scent of today?
Life…
Life has a desire to spring up everywhere and through everything. Yet, so often in my life I was choking out it's expression through fears, doubts, performance, misunderstandings, pride, worry, perceptions and the illusion of control.
I'd grasp at things in my lfie to hold onto and in hopes that they would hold on to me. It completed my false assurance that I had a bit of control over my bubble. It was suffocating the life out of my dreams and while I knew there was more, the world kept telling me that what I had was good enough…and even if it wasn't, at least I'd have company.
…and then I let go.
I stepped off of that cliff.
5 years ago I was planning my departure from the familiar to western Senegal. I knew that the transition from college to beyond was one of the major solidifiers for the next decades of my life and I wanted to make sure I was in a place where I was listening to God…So with that I chose to take a step into the darkness to enhance my hearing.
No one could have guessed the twists and turns of 40ish states, and 35ish countries in the years that followed. My life was thrown on the altar and there was a lot of crap in me that needed to be burned off…Likewise, there was a lot of goodness in me that just needed some heat to purify it. There were seasons of pruining where limbs were chopped off leaving me bloodied and feeling alone. Other times of respite where my senses were opened to the most absurd measures of magnificence.
A lot has changed in my life. A lot will continue to change. One of the only things that won't is change itself.
However, there are a few things that remain despite the changes around me.
God is still God…and He is my Papa.
I am still me…
There has been a dramatic shift recently in my life into a new season…I have just left a season I first entered 8 years ago. I am just walking into the one set before me. I don't know where it will lead me. I don't know what I will be doing. I really am not even sure of what tomorrow will bring. I have yet to find a job and haven't quite settled on a place to lay my head…but I know His mercies will be new in the morning, His grace will be sufficient by night and His love will always abound.
I don't know what obstacles lay in front of me and I have no inclination to fear them.
I know who He has created me to become and I know that He's created me to walk with Him. So as my seasons change, I plan on just taking one step at a time while enjoying His presence.
