So at the end of Albania, we had something called debrief. Basically, its a time when the squad leaders pour into us and lead us in worship and staff from AIM come and speak. Its a time of renewal where our leaders really do pour out the Spirit on us.
This debrief was huge in breakthrough for many people, myself included. There was a lot of stepping into boldness and taking a step of faith and a risk that God has called us to. The first night was led by one of the AIM staff and he said how he felt like God is calling our squad to jump off a cliff, to take a leap of faith into who God is and that God wants to show us so much more of who He is and all the new horizons that would be.
Thats when it really started for me. I had been feeling while in Albania, this point coming where I would have to make a decision about whether or not I was gonna take that leap of faith. I hid behind the excuses and lies that had been spoken over me for so long that I wasn’t good enough and that I was a timid, quiet person and that no one wanted to hear what I had to say. Thats what I hid behind for so many years, but God loves me enough to not let met stay in that place. Even writing this blog is me walking in freedom because it was a fight for me to actually sit down and write this.
Anyways, on the second night, Nathan, one of our squad leaders, spoke life/feedbacked all the guys on our squad and it was really good. There were some hard words to receive, but God was in all of them and love surrounded them. After that, Caroline, the other AIM staff member, said that she felt like there were some prophetic words that the guys on our squad needed to say and that there were declarations that needed to happen in that. I had felt like I had a word last night and didn’t speak up then, but I couldn’t hold back anymore. I went first and said that in order for God to take us to those new horizons, we have to first jump. The declaration in that was that we would run and jump because nothing is holding us back. After that, it was like something just went off in me and I was no longer the quiet, timid person who stands in the background.
I know that I can’t revert back to that person and that I never will. After that moment, I felt different and so free! I let loose in worship and let God reign in me completely. I actually danced in worship. Granted, I didn’t know what I was doing, but that doesn’t matter. God doesn’t care if I don’t know how to dance, but rather that I am being foolish for Him and looking like a fool and not caring because of how much He loves me.
So anyways, to sum up debrief, I am no longer the quiet timid person that I used to be. I listen to the Spirit and speak what He is telling me, no matter what that may sound like and thats how its supposed to be. I can’t hold myself back from what God wants for me and what he wants to show me!
