I have had enough!
Enough of singing in Spanish.
We were in charge of doing worship for our Sunday services at our ministry site this month. I had accepted the responsibility of heading that part up each Sunday. So that included typing out the words into Powerpoint, getting the songs ready for Lydia to play on piano and getting the songs ready for the rest of the team to help sing. It was a typical day, but I had finally had enough. I’m embarrassed to type this because I’m ashamed of how ridiculous I acted.
I had just finished practicing the set with Lydia for that weekend. I went back to my room and just started complaining like crazy. “Why do we always have to sing in Spanish?”, “Why did I choose this route?”, “ I don’t like the key that Oceans is in and I can’t change it because Lydia doesn’t know how to play it comfortably in the key I want.”, “Ugh, I just want to sing in English.”, and “I miss my church and our worship team and having more musicians.”
Later that week, we ended up visiting an orphanage in Pacasmayo, Peru. It’s such a cute town. One of our hosts, Wendy, worked in this orphanage when she came to Peru and it’s also where she met her husband, Audin, when he came for a missions trip. This orphanage was so nice. The children were so sweet. A lady named Avis, who is 70 years old, runs the place with the help of some other people. We were so blessed and honored to be able to visit that place. On that Sunday, we went to church with the kids and one of the girls who stays at the orphanage got up there and was helping with the worship set.
(After the service with the little girl who led Oceans)
When she started singing the second verse of Oceans, the Holy Spirit began to gently remind me why I sing. Had I really allowed myself to forget? I had. I had forgotten that God loves when we worship, in any language. He doesn’t ask for it to be perfect. He asks that we do it from our heart. We worship to express how much He means to us. It’s a way for us to tell God how grateful we are for all that He has done and all that He is yet to do. It’s SO much more than the words that we sing. Or even the songs that we lead.
I listened as the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart so soft and sweet. And to top it all off, some English speaking people, visiting Peru, got up on stage and started singing I Need You More, in English. That is one of my favorite worship songs of all time. We would sing it all the time at Eastpoint Family Church. The Holy Spirit took me back to that night at Eastpoint when I was leading that song. He reminded me of that moment and reminded me that I needed to go back to that place of my heart in worship. Complete surrender and abandon. Crying out to God from a place of desperation and longing for deeper intimacy with him. I didn’t care if I got all the words right or who was watching. I was lost in worship with my maker. Pouring my heart out to him through song. My spirit crying out from the depths of my soul.
That is an incredible feeling and something I have missed on this race thus far. But I have been challenged by my squad leaders to bring that intimacy and worship into the race with me. To cultivate an attitude of worship amongst my squad and my team.
Challenge accepted!
