This blog was prompted by my current living "situation." Though it is temporary, it is still a "situation." As I type this, I am living in a home with 12 other World Racers. Those 12 disciples just so happen to be female. There IS another man staying in the house, so I'm not completely helpless.
The point of this blog is to share some things I've heard and learned over the two days I've been here. Before I go any further, let me just begin the list…
12 things I've heard:
1. As they are going through Facebook photos… "See, this is a selfy I took with a camel." For my parents' generation, a selfy is a photo of yourself taken by yourself.
2. "This clear nail polish really does make my nails look a lot better."
3. "If you saw pictures of me as a kid, you'd say, 'wait… is that a boy or a girl?'"
4. "This blog is going to get so many hits! It's titled: 'My Husband Profile.'"
5. "My husband is going to ______." (fill in the blank with something so awesome your brow begins to glisten with perspiration.)
6. You often hear resounding, nostalgic "Mmmmms" when you mention a food item that they love and wish they had right now.
7. "If your hair looks like that when you sleep on it, I want my hair to be like that."
8. "If you find a cute tank top while you're doing the clothes sorting ministry, please keep it for me!"
9. "I feel like I'm cheating on my sugar fast by drinking this Coke Zero… I'm sorry, Jesus."
10. "This time last year I was in Biology labs for almost thirty hours a week, and we were infecting caterpillars with parasites."
11. "What's your love language?"
12. After something potentially embarrassing happened…"good thing your husband wasn't in the room."
Bonus quote: "Last night, we went to that dam thing." (we went swimming at a dam last night)
12 lessons I've learned:
1. Due to the overwhelming estrogen imbalance, sometimes the conversation is almost like you're not even in the room. They seem to be interested in punctuation a lot because they often mention periods.
2. As a guy, it's probably best to watch the Bachelorette on mute if you watch it at all. I'd prefer not at all, but the show is an event for them. They may even think it's ministry.
3. A "bread fast" is not the same as a low-carb diet. You can eat it as long as it's not shaped like bread.
4. Don't bother taking your toiletry bag with you when you shower because you can undoubtedly find what you need from your housemates' spread of products left in the bathroom.
5. Garnier Grapefruit Tonic shampoo left in the shower does actually give your hair lots of volume.
6. You will eat well for two reasons. They are pretty good cooks, and they buy food like they are feeding 12 men, so there are plenty of leftovers.
7. Humans + internet connection = very little social interaction but lots of social media.
8. Even women have to be banned from roughhousing, or "sparring" as some call it.
9. Women have body odor too.
10. If it is warm outside or inside, all of them will let you know…often.
11. For a single guy, this might seem like a dream come true, but for someone like me, you'll find why polygamy is outlawed in most places.
12. I have to give it to them though, they do make life fun. They love Jesus. They really don't complain that much. They have a really cool desire to devote themselves to God. And they make it easy for a non-single guy to honor an amazing lady back home.
I had to save myself somehow… I'll be slightly relieved when our other squad leaders (one more guy yay!) arrive on Friday.
In this photo, I was not watching the Bachelorette. I was blogging…
