These past three days, our squad has had the opportunity to rest and recover together in Jinja, Uganda before starting our seventh month of ministry in Mukono, Uganda. Though I was fearful of these “R&R” times before the World Race started, as they worked against my performance mindset, I have really come to appreciate them. Though God has certainly given me time to rest, mentally and (sort of!) physically, he has definitely been at work in me spiritually throughout these past three days.
We decided to spring a little bit of personal money to test our courage here in Uganda. Yesterday, we rafted the Nile River and this morning, my new team (same members as Team Deep Roots plus Kelly Gauthier) bungee-jumped into the Nile together! Whitewater rafting is one of those few activities—like backpacking—that I can mentally justify spending money on, as it gives me a deep respect for the power of God.
As we floated down the Nile and slowly approached our first rapid, I could sense that God was trying to teach me a lesson about courage. The water was flat, but the white frothing out in the distance coupled with its corresponding low rumble was enough to make us weary of our current bliss in view of the thrashing that was to come. One hundred meters down the river, the rapids came and had their way with us! We bounced and tipped and spit back the water the Nile had spit at us.
Though we stayed afloat—by no technical skill of our own—we didn’t have so much luck with the other rapids. I had been rafting before, in both Utah and Tennessee, but the Nile was an entirely different animal. Our raft flipped two more times, flinging us each time, like amateur bull-riders unable to stay atop raging bulls, into the warm January air then deep into the churning blue-green waters. As I tried to swim out from under the overturned raft, and as water filled my throat and blinded my eyes, I thought, in a moment of frenzied worry, that my short life would end in the Nile!
It was a completely illogical and unfounded thought—our guide had already told us that nobody had ever died while rafting the Nile with our company—but it crossed my mind nonetheless. Sometimes, though, I think God gives us a good thrashing—keeping us alive and well, all the while—to show us that he can both end our life in a second and protect us from all harm. The same God that completely dresses Job down and powerfully asserts his Lordship…
“Get ready to answer me like a man: When I question you, you will inform Me. Where were you when I established the earth? Tell me if you have understanding…who enclosed the sea behind doors when it burst from the womb…”(Job 38:3-4;8)
…Is the same God to whom we look for refuge—even refuge from the same forces he uses to humble us:
“God is our refuge and strength, our helper in time of trouble. Therefore, we will not be afraid…though (the earth’s) waters roar and foam.” (Psalm 46:1-3)
If God were only to protect us, without occasionally giving us a good thrashing, we would become presumptuous and if God were only to thrash us, without ever protecting us, we would despise him. For this reason, I loved the Nile rafting experience in that it pumped my veins full of both the love of God and the fear of God.
I have learned that it is precisely at this intersection—the intersection between love and fear—that courage lives and breathes. Without God-given fear, there is no opportunity to embrace courage and without God-given love, we have no opportunity to overcome fear.
God has been teaching me a lot about courage on the World Race. Though God has grown me in a number of Christian character traits—love, humility, sacrifice, obedience, and discernment—it may be in the area of courage that God has grown me the most. I wrote, in an earlier blog, (Faint Hearts Don’t Win Fair Ladies), about a more specific aspect of courage—the courage it takes to extend love—but since that time, I have learned more about courage in general.
We’ve all heard someone say something along the lines of, “That isn’t brave…that’s just stupid.” Though this isn’t exactly a Biblical quote, I think that it does have some merit to it. So, what exactly is the difference between courage and stupidity? I would argue that courage could be defined as approaching and overcoming a scary situation through either faith in a trustworthy “rock” or confidence in overwhelming long-term gains, and stupidity could be defined as approaching (and even overcoming) a scary situation without a trustworthy rock.
To use rafting the Nile as an example, the “trustworthy rock” was both the creator-God who controlled the water, on a large scale, and, on a more tangible small scale, a well-experienced, well-trained rafting company with a perfect track record. If I were to have gone down the same rapids on my own, I would call it a stupid act. The presence (or absence) of the “trustworthy rock”—the rafting company—was the deciding factor as to whether braving the rapids could be described as courageous or stupid.
Some examples of bravery lack a “trustworthy rock”, but do have an overwhelming long-term gain in which the courageous person can put his or her confidence. The Allied soldiers who stormed Omaha beach at D-Day, for example, lacked a “trustworthy rock”, in the traditional sense, as they knew they would be peppered with German machine-gun fire the second their assault boats lowered them into the Atlantic, but they did, however, have a vision of overwhelming long-term gains—namely, the valor and honor that comes with risking one’s life for one’s country, regardless of one’s success or failure.
What constitutes courage, of course, varies for each person and I don’t believe there is any way of coming up with a “universal bravery standard.” The fact that rafting the Nile, for our raft guides, takes no courage whatsoever (at least not anymore) in no way negates the fact that it took courage for me to do so. In the same way, the fact that I feel comfortable speaking in public in no way demeans the amount of courage it takes for others to speak in public nor diminishes the amount of praise they deserve for overcoming their fear. Courage varies per individual precisely because we are all unique people.
Furthermore, the fact that a courageous situation, for an individual, could theoretically be intensified to the point of stupidity in no way demeans the amount of courage that it took for that individual to face that situation. So, though the allied troops at Normandy could have theoretically threw their own weapons overboard, removed their helmets, and resolved to fight with their bare hands—which would, of course, qualified the situation and the act as “stupid”—the fact that they chose to keep their weapons and helmets doesn’t take away even an ounce of their lion-hearted courage!
The same “courage formula” rang true when our team bungee jumped—145 feet into the Nile—this morning. There was another “trusted rock” to be realized in another trusted company. As I prepared to jump, I remember my teammates yelling their best encouragements (and jokes) to me: “I’ve jumped from much higher, trust me, this isn’t bad!”…”Stephanie did it already and was fine!”…
What I remember most, though, was that despite my teammates’ well-intentioned encouragements, it was only the “trusted rock” that got me to jump over that ledge. Comparisons (to both higher bungee-jumping sites and to previous teammates) may have fueled my ego and pushed me to the edge, but they never would have gotten me to jump. That was the job of the trusted rock.
God calls for courage in the Bible, and because God knows the human mind so perfectly, he supplies us with both a “trusted rock”—himself—and with immeasurable long-term gains—the riches of eternity. God commands Joshua to “be strong and courageous” (Joshua 1:6) when taking over the Promised Land, but he doesn’t leave him without a trusted rock. The trusted rock is the fact that “the Lord (his) God is with (him) wherever he goes” (Joshua 1:9) and that he had already “given (him) every place where the sole of his foot treads” (Joshua 1:3). As a believer, Joshua also recognized the immeasurable long-term gains at hand (heaven and eternity with God). As believers today, we realize the same thing. “For I consider that the sufferings of the present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”(Romans 8:18).
We may not be conquering an enemy’s land, but we are faced with opportunities to both display and embrace courage every day. Sometimes, it is the little things that take the most courage. As nervous as my stomach felt before bungee jumping, I have felt every bit as nervous before saying “I love you”, before a first day of school, or before pressing “send” on an e-mail screen.
Let us approach opportunities for courage with the hearts of lions, and let us overcome them successfully through faith in “trusted rocks” and through recognition of immeasurable long-term gains.
