When we were first married, we were in love (AND LUST). SERIOUSLY SHE'S STILL HOT!!!!!!! We had conversations that I still wouldn't mind having again. Some times in a marriage when 
that amazing feeling fades (and it does at least a little or for a little while) people go elsewhere for that feeling. Occasionally it will happen with another person. Not always with the opposite sex either. Sometimes the guys or girls will run to the old friends they had before they were married or even family as a security blanket. Not everyone is going to sleep around but you soon stop putting effort into what could be the greatest excitement of all.
Let me tell you our story. Libby and I had been married for 5 years and had sustained on passion and love to get us through the hard parts of marriage. Yes we fought (not so Christian like at times) but it wasn't killing us… or so we thought. We had separate lives of sorts when it came to ministry. I was the Pastor and she was the teacher. She loved and cared for her students and treated them like they were her own. I put massive personal effort into running a student ministry and all that it entails. We were actually doing fairly well but we definitely weren't seeing all that we could out of our marriage. We struggled through deep hurts that we didn't even know were there. We were prepared as we could be for marriage but we knew the principles not the practice. It was working on us, as opposed to working for us.
We understood the beauty of marriage like a buyer understands the beauty of a car. The beautiful paint. New car smell. The exhilaration of the handling. What we didn't understand is the beauty that the designer sees in his creation of the new car or maybe the wonder that occasionally hits the assembly line worker when he steps back for a second and sees all the parts that go into the car he is assembling.. We didn't get it because we couldn't have For all our great intentions we didn't know, what we didn't know.
Marriage takes effort but from where I stand now see a little more clearly where marriage is supposed to be headed. We are going to learn over the next year the practice of being partners in ministry. To start seeing the differences like puzzle pieces. They may be contrary but for them to fit and make the right picture, they have to be complete opposites. (Unless you are square, and nobody wants to be a square) So If you want to pray for us, pray that we continue to value the fashion and function of marriage.Pray that we remember that marriage is a ministry. Even if you aren't going around the world, I would encourage you to use your marriage for ministry. First to your spouse, then for others. If you are bad at the romantic stuff then get some help. Marriage was never meant to be just fashion or function.
"You put the fun in function when the fashion is fresh."
