The time has come. Launch has come to an end. Tomorrow I will arrive in Haiti, arrive in a new country, surrounded by new people. The first of my eleven countries. The first day of what I have been told will be a life changing journey. What do you say? How do you process? When God gives you such an incredible opportunity, when people tell you that you are about to become a new person. Where do you put all of the emotions that flood you?
Leaving is a funny thing. Leaving everything that you have ever known, everything that has ever felt comfortable or familiar. Leaving your family, friends, job. Leaving with the expectation that when you return everything will be different. You will be different. You will have seen, felt and experienced things that change your perspective on life. That have changed your heart. Praying that you will have a deeper and clearer understanding of the Father and His Kingdom. I am doing it. I am leaving. I am going.
The first night of launch we each received a key with a word or bible verse on it. These keys had been thoughtfully prayed over and each one was carefully selected for the person that received them. My key says, “Go.” To be completely honest with you I was almost disappointed by it. I am going? I already said yes. I am doing the thing. Other keys felt so much for inspirational or ominous with words like “burn” or “fly.” Go. One word. Two letters. It felt so simple. I already checked that box? I signed the paper, I have fundraised (and still am), I am packed. I am going.
Sunday night, as I walked to worship, I was struggling with comparison. Struggling to understand what I am to do with this word. How it will impact my journey. As I stood in that room worshipping, Jesus grabbed me and said, “Bekah I am calling you to move. I am calling you to do. I am calling you to go.” I had this revelation that my key expanded beyond leaving for this trip. That it was to serve as a reminder while I am away to move when I feel the Holy Spirit spurring me on. That when things are hard and I want to give up, to keep pressing on. To not give up. To go to Him in my brokenness and my lack of understanding.
I feel confident that the Lord will provide many opportunities while I am on this trip that I could easily run from. That the Holy Spirit will prompt me to move further and further out of my comfort zone each day. I pray that I may go when I feel called. That I may move when I feel led. That I will have a never ending spirit of “yes.” I pray that beyond the race, when I return home, I will be in tune and listen to the spirit. That I will not be afraid to keep going. To keep saying yes. That my willingness to listen to our Father, even when it means leaving, will follow me for the rest of my days.
Tomorrow I will leave, really leave. Tomorrow I will start my journey. Tomorrow I will meet sweet Haitian friends and begin to show them the love of Jesus. Tomorrow will be the first day of what I have been told will be one of the most incredible years of my life. Tomorrow I will go.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for coming with me. Thank you for your willingness to read my blog posts and come with me on my journey.
All my love,
Bekah
