Sweet friends!! Man, I have struggled to write this blog. Not for a lack of words, but for having too many. I recently spent ten AMAZING days in Gainesville, GA at training camp for the World Race. So amazing in fact that it has been hard to decide where to start because I have SO much that I want to share with all of you. I cannot wait to tell you every little detail!! I’ll start by sharing how a seemingly simple activity involving post-its allowed me to experience a revelation of God’s faithfulness.
If you have walked through life with me over the last two years, you know that my family has experienced quite a few hardships. My sister and I have repeatedly said that we can relate to Job’s story in the Old Testament. It has felt like a never-ending wave has been crashing down on us. It seems as if every time I have been able to get my head above water, I was pulled back down- drowning again. I started to expect bad news with every phone call; to expect a new devastating event every four to six months. I (unknowingly) became so accustomed to powering through and then bracing myself for what was next, that I did not stop and allow room for real healing. I would tell myself that God had a plan; that He would eventually show me His faithfulness- that soon our bad streak would end. However, I did not let myself see His goodness in the valley. Now, please hear me when I tell you I thought that I gave myself time to process. I thought that I was seeking the Lord’s goodness as I was clinging to Him.
Thought being the keyword. You see, everything is 20/20 in hindsight. On day four of training camp an amazing woman named Karen changed my mind. Karen had us do an activity that involved everyone writing down any impactful life event we have experienced on a yellow post-it. She then had us rewrite the events that were painful on red post-its. We then organized them into sections (I did childhood, junior high/high school, college, and post-college). WHEW! If you have not ever sat down and looked back on your life in this way, do it NOW! Or, ya know, as soon as you can. I promise that you will not regret it. To see all of my yellow post-its mixed with my red post-its brought me to tears. Especially in my more recent sections.
This might seem like such a simple activity, but the Lord used it to open my eyes in such an incredible way that afternoon. It hurt. It was a truly painful activity to have to think about the past two years. God reopened my wounds and showed me how I had merely bandaged over bullet holes. He reopened these wounds to allow me to start to let them heal properly. To allow me to begin to truly process these events. To break me. I am so thankful. I am so thankful that I was reminded of how broken I am because I was also reminded of how incredible He is.
Y’all God is good. He is here, even in the waiting. Even when we are lost in a dark valley. It is not just some cheesy advice we give to our friends when they are hurting. I can pull out my post-it covered poster and tangibly show you. He is faithful. Even when it hurts. Even when you feel like you keep drowning. I am so grateful that God had a sweet woman named Karen come to training camp and completely wreck me. I am so grateful that God revealed to me ways that I need to heal and process. That He reminded me of His great love for me. Of His continuous faithfulness. Am I healed? Not yet. Will I be? YES! Yes, I will be because, y’all, there is healing in Jesus. God, thank you for being more than we deserve!
All my love,
Bekah
Ps: If this is at all relatable to your current life circumstance I 100% recommend listening to the song “Take Courage” by Bethel Music
