I was recently asked the question, “whose opinion do you place before the Lord’s?” Initially, my response was, “no one’s,” because I could not think of one particular person whose opinion I valued over the Lord, then I paused and processed the question further. I realized that my answer was true, there was no one person, but in fact there are many people. I was flooded with a deep sense of conviction as I blurted out, “I am a people pleaser, I put several people’s opinions over the Lord.”
“You are not a people pleaser, you are a Jesus pleaser.”
Just like that I felt a switch go off inside of me. This simple statement awoken something deep within my soul. I began to reflect back on most of the big life choices I have made to the point. Where to go to college, what to major in, what car to buy. All of these decisions I made based off of what my loved ones told me would be best for me. Someone spoke over my from a young age that I would be a good nurse, so I pursued a career in nursing. My family thought it was wise to attend a local university, so I did. The list goes on and on.
I do not regret any choices I have made, they have all led me to this point. Nor do I blame anyone for giving me advice. I am by no means saying that we should not seek wise counsel from those around us or listen to advice from the people we love. I firmly believe that the Lord speaks to us through the people in our lives, especially the fellow believers in our lives. I am, however, saying that with everything, we should seek the Lord’s face. Seek to follow His will. Not seek to make our family and friends happy. Their happiness is a byproduct of our obedience to the Lord.
As our conversation continued, my friend went onto say that labeling myself as a “people pleaser” was a form of negative self-talk and self-prophesying. This revelation, these truths made me realize that for twenty-four years I have been putting myself in a box. I have often molded myself to be who I thought people needed or wanted me to be rather than allowing myself to just be Bekah Minnette. In high school I was a huge Boston Celtics fan because I dated a guy who wanted me to be one. In some of my friend groups I am the mom of the group and in others I am the goofy, fun one.
Part of this is healthy. It’s okay and healthy to take on interests of those that you love. To show support and encouragement in that way. It’s also okay to switch up your hobbies or to grow and change over time. Your early twenties are for self-discovery. The danger lies in losing yourself completely and finding your identity in pleasing others. As believers, our primary focus in life is to bring God glory. I believe we glorify the Lord when we simply are who He created us to be. We were all created for a purpose, none of us are here by accident.
By placing myself in this box, by fulfilling this need to please people, I did not allow myself to dream. I did not take pause to think about what I wanted out of life. Now, now I feel free. I have broken out of this box I placed myself in, stripped off the labels I gave myself and pushed aside all of my forced expectations. Now I am free to dream. Free to finally admit to myself all of the desires of my heart. Free to simply be Bekah Minnette and not the multiple versions that I mold myself into to please those around me.
This same freedom that I have found is true for you as well. I do not know who reads my blogs or what you are personally going through right now. I do know that you are loved. That the creator of the universe delights in YOU. Simply as you are. Not the version/s of yourself that you try to be. My prayer for you is that you are able to fully embrace your identity as a child of the King and shed the layers of these false identities you may be bound by. My prayer for you is that you may find freedom in being you, because whoever you are, wherever you are, you are known, seen and loved more than our human brains will ever comprehend. Take a few moments today to rest in that truth. Let these words crash down on you like a wave of cool, refreshing water. The Lord loves YOU.
I love you. I am grateful that we have been placed on this earth at the same time and that our lives have, in some way, collided. I eagerly await to hear from those of you who have found this same freedom and I cannot wait to journey through life together. To see the ways that in taking yourself out of your box, you are able to bloom and grow.
All my love,
Bekah
