“Retrospect and Prospect” from The Valley of Vision
Supreme Ruler of The Visible and Invisible Worlds,
My heart is drawn out to thee for thy amazing grace and condescension.
Thou hast kept my conversion fresh before me, that season of my first spiritual comfort when I passed through the Red Sea by a way I did not expect.
I rejoiced then for that unthought-of passage, that delivered me from the fear of the Egyptian when I had almost despaired of life.
I rejoice now as these things are fresh and lively in my mind.
My soul melts when I think of thy days of old with me, when a poor worthless creature without wisdom to direct or strength to help myself was laid under the happy necessity of living upon thee and finding thy consolations large.
Thou art my divine treasury in whom all fullness dwells, my life, hope, joy, peace, glory, end;
May I be daily more and more conformed to thee, with the meekness and calmness of the Lam in my soul, and a feeling sense of the felicity of heaven, where I long to join angels free from imperfections, where in me the image of my adored Saviour will be completely restored, so that I may be fit for his enjoyments and employments.
I am not afraid to look the king of terrors in the face, for I know I shall be drawn, not driven, out of the world.
Until them let me continually glow and burn out for thee, and when the last great change shall come let me awake in thy likeness, leaving behind me an example that will glorify thee while my spirit rejoices in heaven, and my memory is blessed upon earth, with those who follow me praising thee for my life.
Psalm 116:15
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His godly ones.
This is something that I’ve had to wrestle with, mainly when I first signed up for the Race: Death.
I mean, it seems so final. So ugly. So mean. Yet there’s this awesome beauty to it.
And I’ve am still working through my dad’s death. It was (and still is) hard loosing him.
But then to think about facing death personally…it’s intimidating. It’s scary. And honestly, I was a little afraid to sign up for the Race. Going out into the world can be dangerous. There are a lot of things that can happen out there. (Not that there isn’t here in the States…people die all the time. I guess in leaving home, it just seems like a lot more can happen.)
So as I was working through this whole idea–death, what the implications would be, etc.–the Lord brought me to the prayer “Retrospect and Prospect” and Psalm 116. And as I read them, the words resonated deep within my heart. The Word of the Lord says that it is precious when His godly ones die. I don’t fully understand that statement. Could it be because when we die here on this earth, we are united with him? Sure. But I really don’t know.
But what I do know is that I don’t have to fear death. I don’t have to worry about the way the Lord will draw me out of this world. I don’t have to worry about my family I might leave behind, because at the end of the day, God will take care of them, and I will be with Him.
In the prayer “Retrospect and Prospect,” one of my favorite lines is: “I am not afraid to look the king of terrors in the face, for I know I shall be drawn, not driven, out of the world.” One of the reasons I don’t have to fear death is because the Lord is sovereign, even in the way I die. I will not be driven out of this world. I will be drawn into Love’s arms.
So as I worked through some of my feelings about death, some of my fears about going, I realized time and again that the Lord is good and faithful. And that He will care for me while I go and proclaim His gospel. Now, if I face persecution and possibly death, then it will be a joy to suffer for His name and His glory. But if I come home unscathed, then praise to the Almighty for keeping me safe.
No matter what happens on the Race, I hope and pray that His will will be accomplished in my life and the lives around me, and that we will bring Him great glory and joy.
