Have you ever noticed that God picks some of the most random times to ask profound questions? Or at least that seems to be the case with me. One morning I was watering a potted plant not really thinking about much of anything. I was probably keeping my mind free so I could concentrate all my effort on trying to spray wasps that might dodge at me out of the sky. (It happened more than you think…The garden can be a dangerous place.) Anyway, there I was plotting tactical maneuvers, and suddenly God taps on the corner of my mind.
"Why do you want to go on the World Race?"
My first thought was a slightly sarcastic one, "Well…you should know."
But that obviously that is not the right response to any question that is asked by the Creator of the universe. So I launched into my often spoken speech. "Well, ever since I was young I have always had a desire to be a missionary and see …." I was cut off. "That's in the past.Why do you want to go today?"
I was a little perplexed, since I thought I was answering that question. I tried again.
" Well when I heard about the World Race in February I really felt like You were pulling me towards …" I was cut of again but this time He elaborated.
"Standing here, as you are TODAY…why do you want to go?"
I was baffled. How was I supposed to know why without all the experiences that I had gone through in my life to get me to that point? Surely there was a simple answer but I wasn't getting it. After standing for a few long moments I finally gave up. As tears threatened I whispered a defeated " I don't know."
It was at that moment that I realized I had been watering the same plant throughout the entire conversation. So not only had not been able to answer what should have been a simple question I also had murdered an innocent plant!
My mind raced for a usable answer, but my soul was heavy. ( I was also trying to figure out where to buy a new plant if that one didn't make it.) As soon as I walked into my apartment I flipped on my radio, I was tired of listening to my own thoughts.
"The encouraging word to the day is from Isaiah 61. 'The Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.'"
A light bulb suddenly went off. How could I have forgotten? The very first time I had shakily told my Church In The House group that I was thinking about doing this trip I had cited this scripture. Later on when I got up in front of my church to tell them about the world race, I told them this was the scripture I was standing on. I had asked God to give me a scripture to stand on and to pray over this trip and I felt like he gave me that, but honestly I didn't really like applying it to myself. I felt like it came across as cocky. "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord had anointed me… " So I had talked myself out of it. Saying that it was just me trying to sound important. God still had some insecurities to work out in me, but in that moment I got it. It wasn't really about how people saw me but how they saw God through me. More than anything, I want to be the light to those living in darkness, I want to help those that are spiritually bound find freedom. And to see the strongholds of satan demolished. To see the brokenhearted restored to the absolute truth of the overwhelming love of God. And tell them that all that is only the beginning of what God is trying to do in their lives. It was only after this breakthrough that I could see how self centered and insufficient all my original reasons for wanting to go had been. It's true that God had started something in me when I was young to get me to the place where I would accept such a call. But only so much could be built there. He had shaken my faulty notions right out from under me, not for my destruction, so that a stronger foundation could be laid.
*To those of you who were worried….the plant SURVIVED!!
Lord’s favor
