A not so impossible thing
I was going home, or so I had begun to think. What if God had only called me to the race for a short time and He now had something else for me to do? That question was the subject of many tear filled prayers in the two weeks after I posted my blog 1 Impossible thing (if you haven't read it you should probably go read it before continuing ). It was 5 days till my deadline and I was still $3000 away from meeting the 3 month deadline and $7,500 from meeting the fully funded. (Which was my “Impossible Thing”. There was never a doubt in my mind that God could provide I just didn't know if he was going too. Do you know that it is entirely too exhausting to try to figure out the plan of God, especially when He isn't sharing any details?…But that didn't stop me from trying.
That night I walked the property trying to pray and make my feelings line up with the words coming out of my mouth. “God no matter where I am I want to be where you want me. Even if its not where I think it should be.” It wasn't one of those prayers that gives you instant gratification; where you feel swept into the arms of God and told everything is going to be exactly how you want it. If anything it was a root prayer, a prayer that grows your faith by forcing your “roots” deeper. Root prayers are not comfortable prayers but I am learning how necessary they are if I am going to grow into the person God says I am.
I went to sleep that night nearly convinced that God was preparing my heart for going home. The next morning my team piled into SUV and rode 20 minutes down the mountain to the nearest place we could get internet. We had a lot of stuff to do that day and I only had a moment to write a quick update on what we were up to and where I was with the deadline. I thought I was ok with it, I thought I was standing in faith wherever God wanted me but I still found tears stinging my eyes.
Quickly I got up and moved to the bathroom, it was one thing to cry in front of my team and something else all together to cry in a public place. “Wherever you want me God, that's where I want to be.” I mumbled this several times under my breath, not really wanting anyone passing by to hear me but at the same time it seemed important to speak the words out loud. Once I had regained at least a little composure I went back to my seat in the middle of the bakery.
Before going back to work I accepted some new friend requests on Facebook. All of the sudden I had a message from a couple saying that they wanted to know how to donate the money I needed to meet my deadline. Just like that I started sobbing in the middle of a Honduran Bakery. We're not talking polite social picnic tears but rivers flowing down my face. I tried to cover my mouth so my jagged sobs wouldn't be quite as loud. At that moment I didn't have the capacity to care if people were watching. My team stared at me for a stunned moment till I was able to explain what was going on.
How do you process such generosity or such an answer to prayer? Personally, I alternated laughing and crying for the next 15 minutes… at least. Needless to say I was fairly shot for working online for the rest of the time we were at the bakery. Right before we left the couple asked what I needed to be fully funded so I quickly told them and got offline. Not really sure what to think of the question.
My mind was reeling the rest of the day as I rushed around to and told every English speaking person I came in contact with about the miracle I was experiencing. “I'm where I am supposed to be.” the thought would send a jolt through me every time. Hope began to flutter around in the back of my mind as I told my story over and over again. What IF God did my impossible thing?
A couple of days went by before I could get online again. Actually we weren't supposed to have internet access but I couldn't stand it any longer so I asked our host if I could use their personal computer for a few minutes. I found myself sitting on the corner of a bed staring at a message that said I was going to be fully funded. Oddly enough I didn't have any tears for this moment. I only sat in stunned silence as the weight of it sank in.
My 1 impossible thing…To be fully funded before I go to Thailand. About $8,000 in two weeks… God did it. “Now you know.” He whispered in my soul. I could almost hear gears in my heart and mind shifting and locking into a new position. He could have given me peace and security by having me fully funded before coming on the Race (which is what I wanted) but instead He chose to fortify my foundation.
I knew before but now I KNOW, He is a God who is ready and willing to do the impossible but He is also a patient God who waits for us to believe for the impossible. I get a tingle of anticipation up my spine when I begin to think about all the impossible things that He is going to do this year, and I don't mean just in my life. Let me reissue the question from my last blog. What is your impossible thing? Remember to take 1 impossible thing at a time. I am currently praying about what my third impossible thing will be (I'll have to tell you the story of the 2nd Impossible thing soon, sorry I'm a little behind on blogs)
If you didn't already know…we serve a God of impossible things. My hope and prayer is to see and hear about the impossible things that God is doing in your life as I continue to keep you updated on what He is doing in mine. Thank you so much for all your support and continued prayers.
