As I sat on our very first plane at the beginning of this journey, taking off from Atlanta, Georgia on October 6th, 2016 to head to India, I looked across the isle at my squadmate Paige (who later became a dear friend and teammate) as the reality of what we were embarking on was hitting me. With a look of excitment and terror I said, “no going back!”
She laughed and responded jokingly with, “never going back!”
We both laughed in the nervousness and excitement that filled us in that moment.
Little did I know at the time – she was right.
Because the girl on the plane to India 11 months ago is not the girl who will be landing in North Carolina on August 22, 2017.
Yeah, I know – that’s super cliché to say. But I can’t deny or avoid the truth of it. And while that’s exciting and I’m SO thankful for it, it’s also pretty scary.
It’s scary to try to wrap my head around that as I am returning to my home and family and friends so soon – the people and place I love and that have been a part of my life forever, knowing that I’ve changed. Knowing that the Lord has done new things in my heart and life. Knowing that home and family and friends have changed over the year as well. Knowing that it would probably be easier to hop back into how life was before – isn’t that what people are expecting?
But I don’t want to conform back to the way I used to live. I don’t want to act like this year didn’t happen and just jump back into the ‘normal’ of how I was living before.
I feel more. I see more. I love more. I desire God more. I long for truth more. I’m aware more. I want more for people. I want more for myself. I can’t sit quietly aside anymore. & that’s scary.
How do I go back to the ‘familiar’ with a desire to live in an ‘unfamiliar’ way? A way that may be normal to live when surrounded by an incredible community who challenges me and points me to the Father, but what about when I don’t have that every day?
I know it’ll be tough. But I know and am confident that it will be really good. I’m also excited to invite all of YOU – my friends and family – into this newness with me as we transition to doing life together again. We may have to re-get to know each other, but that’s a really beautiful thing!
I’m praying for LOTS more grace and patience from the Father, and I’m asking for grace and patience from you in this process as well.
I desire to share this journey and who the Lord is continuing to shape me to be with you – and I desire to be a part of all that is going on in your life.
I don’t know what the next season will look like. I’m sad that this part of it is ending, but I’m excited for this part to be in the USA with you!
And just like that, we did it!!!! Thank you, Father.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” -Hebrews 12:1-2
& I will never be the same
