I’m good.
The ‘cop out’ answer. The answer everyone says without even thinking about it or whether it is true or not. And sometimes said without even being asked “how are you?” because we are so programmed and ready for the inevitable question that’s coming. More like “I’m good you happy leave me alone you probably don’t even care okay bye”
There’s a lot of validity to that. We don’t usually go into the depths of how we really are unless we know that person cares or forces it out of us with more specific, probing questions. And more often than not, people really don’t care that much, right?
I’ve been in that mindset for most of my life, wanting people to have to fight to know how I really am, to see if they really care or would actually take the time to listen. Having walls up and my happy face on so they would have no idea either way. And it almost feels socially unacceptable to not be ‘good’ anyways. Just give the people what they want.
A valuable lesson I’ve learned and been challenged in along this journey is that it is okay to not be okay, to let people in on that, to not try to cover it up or feel like I have to hold it all together all the time, and to give other people space to be that place, too. We are human, after all.
And trust me, though these past 9 months have been incredible, they have also been some of the hardest of my life.
So, after all that, what I’m going to say next probably won’t make sense, and might sound hypocritical. But hear me out.
To this day, whenever anyone asks me how I am, my first response is still almost always “I’m good.” But my heart behind it is different than it used to be.
Let me explain where I’m coming from:
Let’s be real, life is hard. There are a lot of bad and tough things that happen. I have bad days. I get annoyed and frustrated and sad and hurt and exhausted. I’m not immune to all that stuff. And I desire to be genuine when speaking with people. So how can I be genuine if I always say “I’m good”?
The difference now is that I really believe and mean that when I say it; I’m not just saying it as a filler.
Because regardless of what is going on in life or how things are, I am loved by a God who is so good and who never leaves me, and because of that, I can say with confidence that I truly am good. I believe and trust that now more than ever.
Things in life may not be good, I may be struggling, I may not be okay – but even still, I am good. Because the Lord is with me in that stuff and I can and should praise Him through it all. I know Whose I am. I’m good!
However, in order to not invalidate the hard things that may be happening and to let people in (something I value!), I now also follow it with how things are going in life, whether good or bad, or whether the person asks for more specifics or not. For example, if someone asked me how I am right now, my honest answer would be:
“I’m good! I’ve been pretty sick lately which has been tough. I just found out my uncle passed away so I’m sad and my heart has been hurting for my dad and my family. And I’m struggling with figuring out how to take captive and balance all the directions my mind is going with everything that’s happening in life. But even still, I’m thankful.”
Maybe the “I’m good” seems a bit laughable or not genuine when looking at the context of statement as a whole. How could I say “I’m good” and then follow with all that and really mean it? Why even bother saying it?
That may be true, and that’s okay if that’s how it seems or if that’s what you think. But I want to hold onto that. A lot of times the “I’m good” is a reminder for myself that even when I’m not okay, I am good, because HE is good.
So just know, when I say I’m good, I do mean it. But not because of the circumstances of life. And I won’t make you force all the other details of how life is out of me, I’ll offer the realness of whatever celebrations or challenges I may be going through along with my “I’m good”. Because even in the midst of life and whatever may be happening around me, I pray that I will always be good and always be thankful – because God’s love for me is unfailing. Amen!
Blessed be Your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s all as it should be
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be the name of the Lord!
