Wow. This month has been quite the rollercoaster! I will try
to sum up all the main points so you are not reading for the next few hours.
And maybe I can find some pictures to throw in here J
I spent the month of March in Peru, starting in a city
called Chepen. It is out in the desert, with some of the coolest scenery I have
ever seen. My mind definitely has a new picture of what “the desert” looks
like! My team and I spent the first week
doing some painting and sanding, something at which we are beginning to feel a
bit like professionals. We stayed with an amazing and loving woman who supplied
everything we needed, and had the privilege of serving with a great family that
was attentive and catered to our wants. Something that is sometimes rare on the
race! Spiritually, God was taking me
above and beyond where I had ever been before. I felt on fire and knew that my faith couldn’t be shaken. He was teaching me so much, and revealing so
many spiritual gifts that I was beginning to step into.
But after a week of serving and growing, it was time for me
to run back to the states for a few days and take part in my brother’s wedding.
It was such a beautiful wedding, and a refreshing time spent with my family. I
love my family. If I wasn’t a part of my family, I would probably be jealous of
them. Because we really are awesome. But enough of that, back to the kicker of
the story.
I returned to Peru and joined up with my team in Trujillo,
who was now serving alongside two other teams. Within a few hours, I felt like
I had been slapped across the face. Where in the world was I? It was basically
like spiritual culture shock. During my week in the states, so much of what I
had learned and stepped into completely disappeared. But I had no idea until I
walked back into the community of the race.
All that I thought I was turned out to be so wrong. But it was exactly where God wanted me to be for this
next season of the race.
I have a lot of pride that needs to be ripped off. And not
the usual pride that is visible. It’s the kind of pride that says I don’t need
to be vulnerable and open to grow; that I don’t need my community to see me
struggle in order to be changed. Because my biggest fear right now is that I will
return home unchanged. Sure, things will inevitably change, but I want Kingdom
changes. And I thought God was preparing me for that. But the truth is that He
was preparing me to see exactly what I needed from Him the most. And that is
whole-heartedly surrendering to Him and becoming more disciplined to choose
Him.
Letting go of everything and running after God is a battle.
It will not be easy, and it will take sacrifices that are hard. But I don’t
want to sacrifice anything to God that isn’t hard for me to give up anymore.
Because if it’s easy, it’s not true surrender. Daily, God is giving me a choice
to choose Him; everything from minor details to major decisions. And it is time
for me to start continually choosing Him. I can’t have the victory until I have
fought the battle; but I know fight is worth it. And the truth is, He has
already won. I just have to walk it out.
“I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open. There’s
nothing I hold onto.” – United Pursuit
