I saw it coming on the calendar and watched it inch nearer as weeks passed. Then when the day arrived, big ol’ December 3rd, 2013, I was so wrapped up in to-do lists and feeling sick, I didn’t even notice until I got an email around lunch which pretty much said,
“Hey you! Did you know you’ve been home from the really crazy, “I can’t believe I did that” thing called The World Race, for exactly one year? Congrats on not dying since you got home, because we know you probably felt like it at least a dozen times, but you pulled through and we’re proud.” (My paraphrase)
<–That’s me in Dubai getting ready to board our last flight home on December 3rd, 2012 and me on December 3rd, 2013 in my office at work, excited to celebrate one year home
Actually the email said a whole bunch of other things, but that’s what I read and any other Racer who’s hit that “I’ve been home for a whole year” mark, more than likely can relate to my interpretation of that email and the following thought that happened at some point that day:
“Where the mess did this year go?”
My initial reaction is, I really don’t know, but when I think about it I do know exactly where this year went. (And if you laugh it’s okay, I am too as I’m writing this, but it’s just the truth, re-entry is something else…)
First there was December through mid- January:
FREAK OUT, cry, FREAK OUT, cry, HUG, laugh, have fun, FREAK OUT, cry
Holidays, see friends, actually grieve the ending of The Race, cry
start new job, FREAK OUT, I’m sick… I think I have a parasite.
Then there was January until about April:
SOMEONE HANG OUT WITH ME!
Sorry I’m needy
How do I buy groceries?
Wait, I have a job?
How do I do this again?
Can I jump on an airplane right now?
Yes, I missed you and you and you and you and you and you and you
I’m so glad I’m home
Hugs, kisses, coffee dates, fun
Still freaking out, just a little less
ENGLISH CHURCH, YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
I miss my squad
Cry
I miss traveling
Why am I not better at being an American?
This is SO stressful
How do people live like this?
Re-entry counseling, Praise Jesus!
Still want to jump on an airplane
I’m sorry I’m so exhausted from doing missions for the last year that I have absolutely no energy to make new friends right now
Rest
Try not to feel guilty for not being back in ministry yet
Friends tell me to calm down and cut myself a break… over and over and over again
Cry
Try to remember to make to-do lists so I actually remember what the heck is going on
Did I mention I’m really sorry for the way I’m acting?
But May until July definitely took an upturn:
Okay, maybe I can do this, this isn’t so bad, maybe I can make new friends…
this isn’t as hard as it used to be, I really need to start dating again, just kidding that’s an awful idea
I don’t want to jump on a plane AS MUCH as I didn’t a few months ago… that’s got to be improving, but my office still feels like a cage, can I just go run through a field in Africa?
No, I’ll stay here and be where God put me…Yes, WOO HOO! I FINALLY feel like I’m American again! Amen.
Then there was August until December:
Okay, I love America!
Am I really supposed to be in Dallas?
I think a new season is coming
Oh wait, I’m still a little restless
Maybe, I’ll move
Whatever you want Jesus
Or maybe I’ll stay
I should probably write a blog
Need community, ASAP
Let’s go for a run!
Okay, now I’ll go on a few dates
That’s enough of that for now.
Work
Travel for work
WORK
Try to make new friends
Back into ministry I go!
Work
Jesus, help!
I have no idea what I’m doing and that’s okay
CHRISTMAS!
So what about that Master’s degree?
WAIT IT’S BEEN A WHOLE YEAR SINCE I CAME HOME FROM THE WORLD RACE?!?!
I miss my squad
Cry.
Oh boo, I’m right back where I started.
🙂
Stay tuned for a more serious look into the last year of my life, now that’s I’ve officially been home for a year. It’s absolutely flown by and hasn’t looked anything like I thought it would, but through all seasons God is still God.
Thank you again for being a part of my life through my blog, mission work, and just by loving me well. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without you all in my life.
Happy Holidays!
And if you are in Dallas, stay warm!
With love,
Beka Joy
