It was the end of month 2 here with C-Squad and I started to feel it again. The numbness and tingling in my legs and the weakness; it all felt the same. Exactly a year ago on my Race with M-Squad I got sick in Honduras with Guillian-Barre Syndrome. It is an autoimmune disorder where my immune system attacked my nervous system. I went through the same thing during month 9 of my Race and here it was, happening again.
Coming on this Race as a Squad Leader, I thought I had made an agreement with Jesus that I wasn’t going to get sick this time. I have to lead, right, I can’t be in the hospital. Well the crazy thing is we are supposed to lead like Jesus. And Jesus led and lived life hand and hand. He just was and things happened and He didn’t turn on or turn off His leadership, He led through the chaos and people followed.
We traveled to El Salvador and the next day I was admitted to the hospital with the third episode of GBS. I got to the point that I could not walk on my own and I needed treatment. To receive treatment, I had to make a $3,000 deposit. I didn’t even have this money in my account until a week before when I received the reimbursement form from all my medical bills. The Lord provided that money in perfect timing for me.
The next day they needed another $3,000 deposit. Now this I did not have. Jeff, one of my co-leaders was doing a great job talking to insurance but these things do take time especially when there is a language barrier. At this point, the hospital could no longer give me treatment, which I needed. But after I got the word out to my prayer warriors a phone call came that blew me away. There was a special clause in my insurance that covers 100% when a pre-existing condition unexpectedly reoccurs! This is exactly what had happened to me! What seemed completely impossible was perfectly possible with the Lord!! He is so so good to me!
After a few days of treatment, I started to have a really bad headache. I could probably count the number of headaches that I have had in my lifetime on one hand. But this was bad, it hurt and no amounts of medicine would help it. The next morning they did a CT-Scan of my brain, and it came back normal then they had to do a Spinal Tap.
Last year, I had a horrible experience with having a spinal tap. It was so painful and the thought of having to do this again made me want to throw up especially when he told me this would take 20 minutes. But as I lay there, I kept talking to Jesus asking Him to help me and He did. It was a little painful but nothing like before and I didn’t even feel the actual spinal tap.
After they tested the fluid, it came back positive that I had meningitis. The meningitis was actually caused by the treatment meaning that I could not finish the treatment or ever have it again. Praise the Lord that I did have enough treatment to get back on my feet and feeling much better.
I was released out of the hospital after a week there and because of a beautiful gift from my coaches, Bobby and Sharon, me and my wonderful co-leaders Jeff and Alyssa (who were absolutely incredible and stayed with me the whole time in the hospital loving me and encouraging me) got to spend an awesome day relaxing and having fun together.
After this, I knew I had a decision to make and I knew the hardest thing would be going home. After a lot of prayer and talking with my leadership team, I decided that it would be best to fly home and to be seen by doctors in America to get further testing on why this keeps happening to my body (because having GBS 3 times is extremely rare).
The goodbyes and flight home were incredibly difficult! I love C-Squad and I did not want to leave them but God did give me peace that I was making the best decision.
I could ask Jesus “why?” all day and He can handle it and I believe that He wants to hear from us but I also want to trust Him with my life. I don’t get it. I don’t understand why I am here. I don’t understand why He would call me to be a leader and than take me home. I don’t understand why I have a sickness at all. And that is ok. I tell Jesus this and sometimes I get answers and sometimes I don’t but no matter what, I chose to trust Him. I don’t just trust Him because He is God and because He has a plan, even though that is all true. I chose to trust Him because He is absolutely in love with me. I tell Him every thing so I know He knows my heart. He knew from the beginning that even the thought of going home would bring tears to my eyes. And He hurts when I hurt. So I trust what He is doing in my life. I so badly want to get all this medical stuff figured out so I can get back to my squad but whatever happens I trust Him. Wherever He takes me, I will go! I chose to follow because I know Him and I love Him with all of my heart!
