The Summer of 2008 I went on my first overseas mission trip. I had just finished my Sophomore year of high school and I could not wait to get to Africa. It was an incredible experience and the three weeks in Tanzania went by too fast. I got a taste of poverty and a taste of pure joy. I got a taste of sickness and a taste of true healing. I saw the red dirt and blue skies and I heard the African djembe and the beauty of this new language. I was ruined.
After seeing and hearing and tasting all of this, a normal quiet American life just didn’t sound quite as exciting. I remember asking a missionary we were working with there, how did he know? How did he know to go there? How did he know to move to Tanzania? His response I can still hear.
He said, “Go ‘til God says no!” Really? That’s it? Can it really be this simple?
These words are something I began to forget. Things stopped being so simple to me. I wanted to hear every detail from Jesus before I moved. I was so afraid of missing the next step or messing up His great plan for my life.
I was being a spiritual baby.
1 Corinthians 3:2, “I fed you with milk, not solid food, for you were not ready for it. And even now you are not yet ready”
The Lord has given me what I need to make decisions. He has given me wisdom and discernment.
When I was praying and asking the Lord about moving to Thailand, I wanted Him to tell me everything. I wanted Him to say the date to move and how long I should stay and what I should be doing. His response was quite different.
He said, “What do you want to do?”
“No, no, no. I don’t want to think for myself. Your will, not mine.” Jesus wouldn’t budge. He wasn’t allowing me to stay a baby. He was pushing me to grow up.
I thought I was doing the right thing by asking Him to decide everything for my life, but He taught me the importance of making decisions. To trust that when I am walking faithfully alongside Him, my ideas and dreams will line up with His. To believe that if for some reason I start going the wrong way, I will be close enough to feel Him tugging my heart to turn around.
So why am I going to Thailand? Because He asked me what I wanted and I said TO GO and He didn’t say NO!
