I’m broke. I looked into my bank account and I had $46 to my name.
Forty-six dollars.
*disclaimer this blog was extremely hard for me to write, this is something that I’ve been struggling with, but I brought it to the Lord and now I’m bringing it out of the darkness and into the light.
I can’t remember the last time I saw less than a hundred in my account. Don’t get me wrong, I have been terrible with money since I got my first job working at Taco Bell when I was 16 years old. I would get a paycheck, save maybe 25% or less and blow the rest of it at Pac Sun or fast food at In-N-Out Burger like any typical, teenager would.
When I signed up for the Race, I knew that money, fundraising, etc was going to be my biggest hurdle to jump over. I hated the fact that I had to ask people/family to help support my trip, the whole idea of dependency and relying on people and even at times asking for help has always made me cringe. However, the Lord said, “Trust me.” So even though it wasn’t easy, I did.
With the help of my family and friends and amazing supporters, some of which I’ve never even met, here I am.
IN ASIA
nearing the end of month 5 of the race. I’m almost halfway through the race and even though I’m not fully funded yet, I can’t help but be filled with complete and utter awe at how incredible our God is and how He provides.
A few friends of mine that are also missionaries, mentioned that God was gonna show up in every area of my life. Not some areas, EVERY area. It makes sense, I’ve been living out of a backpack for 5 months now. It’s hard to feel like the World Race is a break from my life, nope, it’s not. It’s a part of my life. We’re just living life… in foreign, third-world countries.
The Lord has been teaching me so much lately about what it looks like to fully rely on Him. Our new team is Unsung Heroes this month and that has brought even more light in my life about how nothing I do or have is of my own, it’s all His. Being broke has given me a wake up call and brought me to the realization that I need to take better care of the things and gifts that He’s given me.
Freely we give, freely we receive.
I’ve discovered that my purpose involves a lot of giving. Having the ability to spread love and give to others brings me so much joy. Things have very little value to me; my treasure is in heaven. If it’s not going to heaven, it doesn’t matter. People matter, experiences matter, relationships matter, stories matter.
Even though I’m broke and this month has been a struggle, I’m so incredibly happy. I’m having the time of my life. I’m a daughter of the King. He loves me just the way I am. I have everything, I mean everything I could ever possibly need and then some. God is so, so good. I’ve got a long way to go and a ton of growing and discipline to step into, but I will never tire pursuing a life that glorifies Him.
Love, B.
