A pile of friends, a pile of snacks, and a movie. Sometimes this is how we choose to spend our off days. On this particular day, the snacks were bought from the market streets of Madagascar and the movie chosen was P.S. I Love You.
A good portion of the movie takes place in Ireland, and I found myself deeply longing to go to Ireland, desperately wanting to see and experience it. I was even trying to plan how I could make this happen someday. As I sat in MADAGASCAR.
This same day I had chosen to stay back at our compound rather than join the rest of my team who was going to the zoo. I made this decision because when everyone was getting ready to leave, I felt deeply that God was telling me I needed to stay back and rest. That may sound easy enough, but it wasn’t for me. I didn’t want to disappoint our translator by skipping out, and I didn’t want to miss out on the experience.
At the end of the day, I was feeling great about my decision. But the moment my team returned with pictures of themselves covered in lemurs, I was overcome with disappointment and immediately regretted my decision. I wanted that experience with my team.
I have never thought of gluttony in any sense other than being greedy with food, eating too much. But it’s possible to be gluttonous with life experiences, not just food. I recently read a book called Present Over Perfect and at one point, the author acknowledged that gluttony had been one of the sins she struggled with. She said, “I want to taste and experience absolutely everything.” That’s me.
The next morning, on a stunningly beautiful, three hour car ride to our translator’s church, I was talking to God. I asked him why I had needed to stay home, and he brought that section of the book back to my memory. He told me I will never be satisfied by seeing or experiencing the world. I’m not meant to be. I’m meant to be satisfied in him and him alone. I’ll find much more enjoyment in life and my experiences if I’m satisfied in him and not looking for satisfaction in what I can taste, see, and experience.
I’m on the adventure of a lifetime and it isn’t satisfying me. Truthfully it’s not meant to. Only God can satisfy my soul. I realized I can spend the rest of my life looking for fulfillment in experience after experience, or I can find my fulfillment in God, and as a result, genuinely enjoy what I’m doing and seeing because I’m already satisfied.
Psalm 63:5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy.
