almost as though I feel the emotions of coming home all over again.
I’ll be honest the first night ya’ll (July ’08 Squad) came home I
found myself grieving with you and actually breaking down that
night. All the little details of coming home linger in my thoughts,
down to the feelings I had as I layed my head down in my big comfy
bed after 322 days around the world. Thinking, ‘woah! I don’t know if
I can deal with this.’
is where my first post race journal entry begins, specifically marked
at the top of the page
“POST RACE: DAY 10”
but most are just mundane. It seems like this place is the exact same
way I left it. The word we were reminded of before we left to come
home was “ABIDE in Him, to guard and protect quiet time with the
Lord.” Although that has been my intention and really the only
thing on my agenda, it always seems to be the one to get overlooked.
I’m unmotivated, my heart thirsts for
that time, but that unmotivated “blah feeling” is what consumes
me. God, I need you. God, where are you? This is so difficult! Why do
I ignore you? I’m drowning in the apathyof this place. I really don’t
care about much of anything. I’m searching for purpose here-and yes
God is working, I see it…but feel so distant.
then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near
to me and I will draw near to you”
James 4:7-8
This entry is followed by a few pages
of prophecying over myself, the Lord reminding me who I was (my old
self) and who I am now (my new self) and God comforting me as He
tells me of His faithfulness and tells me he’ll never leave me nor
forsake me which is all so comforting.
These next few days I want to
encourage you to remind yourself who you are in Christ and who He is
in you. Sit with the Lord ask him to reveal to you who he has made
you to be. Prophecy it over yourself daily. Remember you are the
BREATH of LIFE. You know and hear the Lord’s voice, He’s always
speaking to you. He has amazing plans for you, a purpose, and a high
calling on your life! You are empowered, a light in dark places, you
are chosen. You’re in the world, but not of it, You are not in this
process alone, it’s okay to feel these feelings. People care and are
hungry to hear about what God has done in your life. Do not be
silent.
to share what you are doing, and specifically how I can be praying for
each one of you…
I understand what youre going through and honestly somedays feel like its still only been 10 days since being home. 🙂
“…and I want you to
stress ALL these things, so that those who have trusted God may be
careful to DEVOTE THEMSELVES to doing what is good. These things are
excellent and profitable to everyone.” Titus 3:8
KINGDOM COME.
