Let's have some "truth time":
Where to go from here…
This was always something that has plagued my mind. What's the next big step? A constant lack of contentment has been my life status. Being content in where I was at the present time never even crossed my mind. I claimed to be grateful for what I had, but my heart was the last place to find evidence of any sort of contentment. I was in constant movement to become better as a person, to better my physical life situation and an excuse not to face my own reality. What was my reality? The fear that I was a failure. That I had somehow failed at what every 20-something should be at in life.
I think every person goes through this at some point: the feeling of being inadequate. The fear that you will never measure up to how big you wish you could be, the reality that so-and-so was living your dream and you were stuck working ridiculous hours just to barely pay the bills. This was my reality. I was not good enough, my life would never be the adventure my soul longed for, and that I was average at best.
Than God hit me.
Not physically (although, that would've been something to see), but He so mercifully made me see what I needed to realize. I was so caught up in what I wanted out of my life that I never saw what He had planned for me. I have heard this preached at me too many times to count, but it never actually hit me spiritually until God took hold. My dreams were/are nothing compared to what He wanted. So, when I finally had no fight left on the inside, He filled me body, heart and soul. I no longer felt inadequate. I felt humbly “enough” through Him. I no longer felt like a failure but that God had me where I was at and with the people that were around me for a reason. Peace. Joy. Contentment. The things that I always truly wanted.
I still cannot believe it either. Once God transformed me, He started showing me His insane plan for the future. I have always wanted to travel, so He decided to lead me to 11 different countries. My heart has always been drawn to underprivileged kids or people stuck in poverty. Why not call me to a year of serving these exact people for Him for a year? I do not know His complete plan or what He has planned for me after this, but I finally do not care. Wherever He leads, I will follow. Wherever there's need, He is there.
We are here to spread His kingdom, wherever we are in present day. let that be at work, in school, or in a coffee shop while trying to finish a deadline or project. We are here to do His work, until the day He calls us home.
Where do I go from here? Can't wait to find out.
“As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.”
– 2 Timothy 4:5
